To Be or Not To Be, Sorry

“An apology might help, but you can change your life without one.” Robin Quivers

This is a really hard and personal topic for me. I have felt the bitterness that comes with holding on to anger. I have lived through the sting of other’s unwillingness to forgive, a most devistating loss. And, I have had to learn that one can be sorry to the deepest depths of their soul and still never be forgiven. It is one of the greatest and hardest lessons in life to learn, to forgive another, even if the apology never comes. And, perhaps harder still, is to learn how you can forgive yourself!

Life is full of so many lessons. And, just when you believe that you’ve learned everything [it] throws a wrench in the works. So, here I am years later with the battle scares to show, sometimes you really know very little! People will surprise you, turn on you and throw you away. Perhaps, Oscar Wilde said it best of all, “True friends stab you in the front.”

As many times as I apologized, true forgiveness was witheld. Later the choice to walk away from a 14 year friendship was necessary, for self-preservation’s sake. And finally anger came, not crept, it came in stomping and smashing everything in its wake. This tragic loss of friendship taught me some of the greatest lessons in forgiveness, however. I wish I could say that I learned them in a dignified way, with class. No, this lesson was messy and unrefined! I had to battle my inner demons, truly learn what forgiving is all about and why choosing forgiveness is for you NOT them. 

Forgiveness is not a one time thing. It is not a magic word you say or deed you do and poof its done. I have had, at times, to choose and purpose to forgive daily. There is certainly a process and it has taken time and lots and LOTS of energy. And really I am not here to tell you how to accomplish it. Everyone’s struggle is different and I do not believe it is the same steps that get everyone from point A to point B. I do believe however, you will be happier when you choose to let go and live.

“Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge.” Isaac Friedmann

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” Paul Boese

via: Daily Prompt apology