Trudging Through Depression

“I cannot imagine a more perfect hell than being trapped inside my own mind.” ~Beth Revis, The Body Electric

As one who has dealt with depression for over 15 years, I would like to take the opportunity to share some of my journey– As a young mother of 20, able to stay home with my new born son, this should have been the happiest time in my life. Instead, I was lost in sorrow and hopelessness. At times I would beg for my husband to just stay home, tears and anguish my constant companions. My poor husband was beside himself, unable to comfort me and unsure of what was happening to his once happy wife. I would sit at the window crying as his car would pull away each day. I did not know what was happening to me, yet I did not seek an answer. I believed that I must hide this “weakness” from friends and family. I put on a front whenever I was in public, not even aware that I was dealing with an illness.

“When you’re lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you’ve just wandered off the path, that you’ll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it’s time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don’t even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

Years went on, I’m not sure that I ever got back to “normal” but I improved with time. Just before 23 I gave birth to my daughter. Again, I fell into a depression (although I still did not know this was the name or cause). However, this time I fell lower and deeper; it was hard to hide from my family any longer. My parents finally came to me and theorized that they thought I was suffering with depression. How would they know? Well, you see it is highly genetic on my father’s side of the family. In fact, my parents hid from us that he had suffered with it for most of his life. What? You see, it was so taboo to speak of such things for so long. And, for a man, perhaps even more so, this is seen as a weakness to many.


Well, here I am now, over 15 years later. I have been able to work through my illness with medication, therapy and learning about the disease. I have made it a mission to take the opportunity to share and bring light to this illness, not hide it away. There is still so much unknown about depression, stigma and also those with disbelief of its authenticity. Or perhaps even those who believe you can just, “Pull yourself out of it!” But, depression takes many forms, it is not just sadness but can also show as anger, anxiety, restlessness, hopelessness and more. If you, or someone you know feel you may be suffering from this, I encourage you to reach out to a health professional today.

Last week was “National Suicide Prevention Week.” Bringing light to a terrible illness that still has much stigma around it and to offer hope to those that find themselves with none. Read more at America Foundation for Suicide Prevention.





Daily Prompt: Slog



Filed under Depression

40 responses to “Trudging Through Depression

  1. A perfect prompt for you with perfect timing! Thanks for sharing your story.

  2. Hey. I had just written a post about my friends situation. His going through hopelessness and like you said depression can come in different forms. Thank you for this post, maybe I should share it with him.

    Kindly read my post here and see how rough it’s taking a toil on him;

  3. …my prayer for him is to just accept my help. To accept that I will always be there for’s so painful and it hurts so so much.

    Thank you.

  4. Amy

    Thank you for sharing. I have a friend who has been under medication is getting better. It does take great courage to face it and seek for help.

  5. This post gives so much strength to the ones who are read it just by knowing that we’re all in this together. Loads of love and blessings to you. 🙂

  6. And more still, who believe you can just, “Pull yourself out of it!”

    100% true! Our loved ones sometimes get frustrated that we don’t just get better by snapping out of it. The more we try and fail, the harder we are on ourselves, leading further into depression. Great post!!

  7. I’m dreading the fall/winter, the worst time for me (and for a lot of people, as I understand it). It’s a hard slog, to say the least.

  8. I’m a psychotherapist. I work with people who suffer through depression. This is a great description.

  9. Thanks for sharing this post. Depression sometimes can not be easily detected just as in the case of a close friend of mine. I hope he gets over it soon just as you have.

  10. Thank you very much for sharing. It’s encouraging to read about a successful journey through such a difficult and hardly talked about condition. Love the picture quotes.

  11. Thank you for sharing your experiences – the more people who talk about the better! You will inspire others to seek help for sure…

  12. Reblogged this on It's Yet Another Blogger and commented:
    Please go read the original post and leave a comment! Also if you enjoyed what you read, give them a follow and read more of their fantastic work!

  13. Thank you for this post. I think it is a travesty that we are still having to deal with taboos on the topic of mental health. We don’t fix our own teeth – we seek help from the pros. We dont sow on torn off limbs ourselves – we seek help from the pros. Why is it such a taboo to seek help with the noggin’? We must do whatever we can to move past the stage of taboo! How are friends and family ever going to be able to spot the signs, if we do not know what the signs are?

    Sorry for my rant, this topic interests me. I am so glad you have been able to work through it, and that you have reached a point of openness. We need more people like you!

  14. Let The Stigma Slide

    Thank you for sharing your experiences Michelle, not many people do and it’s incredibly brave of you!

    Our aim at Let The Stigma Slide is to raise awareness and educate society about mental health, especially regarding depression and suicide. We want to show how common mental health conditions are to make people realise there’s nothing so foreign about it, and there’s really nothing to be ashamed of. We want to help abolish the stigma surrounding mental illness to increasingly create conversations around what’s perceived as such a “taboo” topic.

    In a #stigmafreesociety, those who suffer from depression will no longer suffer in silence. Would love your support! Here are links to our Facebook and Twitter.

  15. Pingback: “Hello, It’s Me Again”~Depression | Southern By Design

  16. This is a great description.
    I’ve written an article myself on my own depression and history – and how I believe writing helps us and can help us to combat this. Check it out if you like.
    Emily x

  17. Good for you Southern. Well done on surviving. Young mother’s are particularly vulnerable.



  18. Thsnks for sharing your story and letting others know they are not alone.

  19. Quote was spot on. For the longest I pushed on telling myself to be strong and things will get better. All the while I was only tearing myself down more and more everyday. At the age of 33 I could no longer win the daily battle.

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