“Hello, It’s Me Again”~Depression

โ€œThere are moments in life when it is all turned inside out–what is real becomes unreal, what is unreal becomes tangible, and all your levelheaded efforts to keep a tight ontological control are rendered silly and indulgent.โ€ ~Aleksandar Hemon

sunset-jumping“Hello, it’s me again!”

That is the voice of my depression within my mind, trying to take hold. The past few weeks have been full of much rain, thus very little sun. With this comes less activity, more closing myself up indoors, loss of Vitamin D and natural light. Next, the depression comes- tapping at first, then as time goes on, pounding! Really, depression has no manners and does not care if it is uninvited. When [it] tells you to “jump” well you often have no choice but to do so, because you begin losing control.

Recently I touched on my struggles with a piece called “Trudging Through Depression.” I had so much positive feedback and it was very encouraging. It is often hard to share about this chronic illness, but I have found much therapy in writing. I have also purposed not to keep my illness quiet, as I feel I can help others who struggle and educate those who do not understand. So, I will attempt to put into words what occurs when I have a “flare up” of sorts.

I can feel myself losing all sense of gumption to accomplish anything. The basic desire to get up off the couch, shower and dress for the day is diminished. It feels as though my body is weighted down and every movement takes much effort. My mind gets foggy, sometimes it is hard to concentrate and at other times it is hard to form fluid thoughts. I find myself getting ornery or even angry with those around me, other times I am just frustrated with myself. Finally, sleep and body begin to waver under the pull. I will either sleep a lot, or not be able to sleep enough. And the body aches are the final straw.

sad_eyes_by_mirellasantana-d5a1du7I am not filled with sadness, as many believe depression is all about. I don’t sit around crying, although I did when it first reared its ugly head. Yes, there are definitely heightened emotions present. For a woman I can put it in this perspective, think of your worst PMS mood and then multiply it by 100.

Although on medicine, these flare-ups do occur under the “right” circumstances, which is not too often. Triggers for me are weather (which is why we moved South), stress and a few other things.ย So, how do I pull myself out of the funk? Often I just ride the wave, which usually will fizzle out. But, I have learned through cognitive therapy some good ways to help myself. And, sometimes it is to take all the strength I can muster to just get myself out of the house and do that one thing I enjoy.

There is more I hope to share in the future. And, I’d love to hear from you. If you have questions or would like to know anything specific, I will try to answer the best I can.






Filed under Depression

16 responses to ““Hello, It’s Me Again”~Depression

  1. I think it is normal for a person to get depressed sometimes… but yes the key is to try to be positive and I am doing my best to do just that. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Yes, it is normal for everyone to have low times. It is when these become chronic or more frequent and intense that it can go beyond just being positive to get yourself out of them. I have had 15 years and come a long way to the point where I am able to get “through” on my own accord.

      Best wishes & thanks for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

      • I wish you well. I know the feeling of being depressed sometimes and anxiety and yes not a healthy feeling so yes I am doing something about it before it becomes more than normal.

  2. Mother Willow

    How wonderful it is to use this creativity of writing as therapy. I do believe it does tremendous healing on so many levels of our being. Depression is terribly debilitating and not easy to live with, get out of and continue despite of. Good for you for being wide open and sharing. This too will heal you deeply.

  3. You can maybe do a gateway. Like the first comment, vinneve said, “I think it is normal for a person to get depressed sometimesโ€ฆ but yes the key is to try to be positive”..
    Just go somewhere take a breather and sigh out all your worries. It won’t take everything away but it will be a good relief. Maybe on a weekend.

  4. learning to be positive in difficult times is the key to happiness… we all get depressed…. at time… but we should not forget that after every bad moment…. another beautiful moment is waiting for us…. cheers…

  5. Gagan khaira

    I think writing is the best and the cheapest form of therapy that you can do anytime you want to. Stay positive and do the things you love to do. Fight it. Stay blessed and take care.

  6. I have nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award! If youโ€™re interested in accepting/participating, pop over to my post https://justacountrygirl24.wordpress.com/2016/09/22/sunshine-blogger-award/ to see the instructions. I love how honest you are about everyday things that most people aren’t completely honest about, love Gennie xxxx

  7. I hope your uninvited guest leaves soon and you gain back control. Take Care!

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