I am just going to write from the heart today. Something that I have really been struggling with lately. I am full of many emotions, to be quite honest these days. I know I have shared before and I always am amazed at the out pour of support, so thanks. Things just really suck right now. Not because I have some terrible life, on the contrary I have so much to be thankful for.
I mean, if one were to just look over my blog you would be able to see all the beauty and amazing qualities of life I have been given. I have a loving husband and two amazing teenagers. My oldest, he is learning to dote on me as his father has always done, and quite impressively really. Brings me to tears even! What 16-year-old boy remembers to record a TV special he knows his mom wanted to see, but forgot to schedule for herself? I mean, I mentioned it one time and he remember! Then didn’t even look for acknowledgement, wow! But I digress…
So, I need you to know, I am not complaining, not even close. I am just venting really. My soul is a sponge and my heart thinks it is a surgeon this leaves me torn by the emotions of ones I care about, interact with and really any bleeding heart I pass by…Of course some lost souls mean more than others.
Like a skin rejuvenation, you scrub, you peal, some pain and then you shine. I am just in a bit of need of some heart, soul and spirit renewal. I don’t want to change who I am, that wouldn’t be good. But, I feel like I’ve also been siphoned from, I have been left with the dregs of emotions of people come and gone and I am tired. I am so worn down and spent. The case when you give and give, but more is given then received. Or maybe I just have holes in my bucket, I have always liked to do things the hard way. So, then the pain is last and I feel perhaps that is what I am in the throws of. I guess that means I’m soon to be out shiny and new. Hey and maybe I’ll look ten years younger too! ~MM