There are many intense emotions that come with losing a loved one to suicide. One of those feelings is abandonment. The loss of a child like I am experiencing has not brought on that emotion too much for me. But, his younger brother, also considered his best friend, is struggling a bit with this.
The feeling of being left behind is common. Not the desire to die so much, but the feeling that he wasn’t good enough to stay here for. I have spoken in detail with my youngest and he is really staying in touch with his emotions in all of this. Also struggling with mental illness himself, he has insight to the struggle his brother faced. This does not make it any less difficult, but it does help him with perspective.
We all are here, left behind to pick of the pieces without him. Yes, it can give way to hard emotions to deal with. And, we all mourn in our own way. It is just coming to terms with the fact that nothing could have been different then what you did. And that you can and will survive. ©Mac