Category Archives: Family

These Memories

To Paul

Memories run fondly through my head
Of the day when we were wed
Has it really been nearly nineteen years
That day, so many happy tears

And if I were to choose to go back in time
When you asked, “Please be mine”
I would say, “Yes” To this life once again
Knowing what I didn’t know then

The times we’ve grieved and times of pain
Are worth it all, won’t be in vain
For with each moment that we have cried
Still worth it all to be your bride

The laughs and giggles I’ve shared with you
When I think I won’t get through
Keep me grounded, help lessen the sorrows
Holding on for brighter tomorrows

Life is quite messy and often so complicated
But I still remember when we dated
Our two beautiful children are nearly grown
Can’t believe how the time has flown

Struggles have been many, but joys are more
As a mom and a dad they both adore
We walked through fires and danced in the rain
Held on to one another when in pain

Now as we journey into our future, hand in hand
Even if it is not how we had planned
Nothing is able to take these memories from me
Signed, Your Wife, Michelle, lovingly©

by Mac

wedding

Our Wedding Day©

wedding2

Our Wedding Day©

19 Comments

Filed under Family, Love of..., nature-photography

Overcomer

man-with-open-arms-on-the-top-of-the-mountain-picjumbo-com

Never knew how capable I was

I told the truth and undid

Everything I once held dear

Now life is just so unclear

I’ll hold up there is no doubt

I can’t give up on you or me

What was one is torn in two

Now so much I must renew

But I know we’ll overcome

This journey is an uphill race

Looking back and one day see

What was to be of you and me

Overcomer© by Mac

Leave a comment

Filed under Depression, Family, Life Lessons, Love of..., Uncategorized

Lacking

I have SO much to get done, to finish up before Christmas. I have done NONE of my wrapping yet, ugh! I have zero motivation, but with a relative visiting for the next five days and arriving tomorrow, I have got to get things done. So, please excuse my lack of enthusiasm and my high levels of procrastination. I am trying to just get through the holidays without losing my mind! ~Mac 

1340765955967_8815186

29 Comments

Filed under Depression, Family, Uncategorized

Not So Merry And Bright

woman-depressed-at-holiday-sheknowscom

I can hardly believe that Christmas is only a week from today! I have had a really hard time getting into the holiday spirit this year. I am just not quite feeling [it]. I’m sure a bit of this has to do with the fact that the holidays in general tend to hold a bit of depression for me. But this year my hubby said something that made sense. He told me that our “Honeymoon” period of our big move is passed. Last year we were still riding the high of having moved South. We hadn’t even been in SC for six months yet when Christmas came around.

This year I am just not feeling the desires of the celebration. I miss family and I may even miss the snow…for like five minutes. Don’t get me wrong, I love the beach and our new home. Cannot beat the lack of cold weather and even a few great friendships that have flourished. But, all these cannot compare to family and traditions that are no longer present for me.

Even the kids can feel this vibe, I’m certainly giving off. I must admit, I’ve been a bit moody! I watch Christmas movies (as is one of our traditions) with bated breath. Not because I’m thinking, “OH WOW” but “OH Gawd”! And I cannot listen to the Christmas music, it’s like nails on a chalk board! Aach, I am feeling like I’m losing my mind! I’m sure y’all have been picking up on this vibe of late too, I do apologize. I also appreciate those who’ve checked in with encouragement and support!

So, this week the kids have a couple of days of school then we are off for holidays. We will do a touch of baking, as is our tradition. Also, we do have hubby’s dad, my FIL, coming mid-week. The kids are excited for this; all I see is having to clean the house and attempting cheeriness. So, more work for me, yay! I just finished the family Christmas cards. I still have ALL my wrapping to do and shipping of long distance gifts. Whew, just seeing this all written out makes me want to climb under a rock until after the New Year. HELP, bring liquor NOW!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year my friends!  -Mac xx

21 Comments

Filed under Depression, Family

Some People…

global-women-connected-angry-email-facebook

Some People…

Some people are just so exasperating
I mean they are frikin damn frustrating

I want to go and put them over my knee
Treat them how they behave, like three

Make them pay for the way they act
Tell them all of my mind, that’s a fact

Shake and slap them with all my might
And yell at them all through the night

Tell them that they are loved by me
But how maddening they can really be

And if by chance that they were to see
Truth is I’d hope that they’d believe me

When I say that life is already so rough
Being upset at you makes it more tough

Would they even believe a word I’ve said
Probably not until after they are all dead

I’ll grieve at the things that I have done
But will be too late and they will be gone

Some People© by SBDMB (MM)

9 Comments

Filed under Family, Life Lessons, Love of...

Promise

wedding-ring3

Promise

Do you promise that you will never leave me?
I mean, do you really know what that means?

Forever is very long and so much can happen
We could forget what our desires feels like
We could forget what it means to really love
Forgetting we should put each other first

Do you promise that you will hold me always?
I mean, will you hold tight, never letting go?

Always is very long and so much can happen
We could lose the affections for each other
We could lose sight of thee important things
Forgetting to hold tight in sweet embraces

Do you promise that you can ever be loving?
I mean, love even when I’m not always kind?

Forever is very long and so much can happen
We could forget that love is an action word
We could neglect how these emotions feel
Forgetting that love is truly unconditional

Do you promise that you will always forgive?
I mean, even when I have hurt you to the core?

Always if very long and so much can happen
We could harden our hearts to one another
We could become bitter, a great chasm form
Forgetting that forgiveness is for both of us

Promise me that no matter what happens in life
We will always find the way back to each other
Keep our lights on and burning hot with passion
Beacons back to one another’s hearts and souls

Promise© by SBDMB (MM

13 Comments

Filed under Family, Love of...

Changing Rolls

img_0887

When life was hard you were there for me
This was your job and you knew how
As I have grown the rolls switched
Often I feel like the parent now

When did things change for us this way?
When did my advice start to matter?
How did I surpass the job of child?
How did you forget my needs?

My heart yearns for carefree moments
When life was much simpler for me
Only concerns were of my future
Naive to all the responsibilities

I’m not sure anything really readies you
The many changing rolls in adulthood
Looking into my own children’s eyes
Wondering how will they prepare

Will I become only an image of former self?
How will I impact the lives of my children?
Will the memories start to fade for me?
This life can just be so complicated©

 

3 Comments

Filed under Family, Life Lessons

It’s Beginning To Look

img_4511As the saying goes, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!” And, over the years we have coined many phrases and customs that encompass this saying.

In our own family we have multiple traditions, from decorating the house and tree, to baking goodies. We enjoy the music and movies that accompany the holiday as well. We go out to see Christmas lights around the neighborhood and enjoy festivities. Meals and family, gifts and giving- so many special times around the season!

We are quite traditional in our likes in Christmas music. Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra are definitely on our play-list. As for movies, my kids have played a roll. Watching “The Grinch” with Jim Carry is our Christmas Eve tradition. But, personally, I enjoy “The Christmas Carol” with George C. Scott. It is laten with memories of watching it every year when I was younger. My dad always aiding in the voices and phrases that we all had memorized from years of viewing. Now Hubby and I do the same with our kids. And, last but certainly NOT least “Elf” with Will Ferrel. This is my ALL time favorite movie! I enjoy laughing most of all, so this is a movie I can watch over and over, and I know every line.

a5c4e6a4-ebb4-4f23-adeb-9b79d5846242Another tradition is baking. It is a favorite that I carry with me from my childhood. My mom was not one to work with us as kids in the kitchen that often. However, during the holidays she would let us help with the cookie baking. We each were allowed to choose one favorite recipe to do ourselves. So, as I had children of my own this was passed down to them. Since they were old enough to walk I would put them on a chair at the counter to help roll out cookie dough. Now at 13 and 15, they can nearly do it all on their own. And they still ask to do it every year! Made from scratch sugar cookies is treat of choice. Decorating has improved over the years and is my favorite part!

 

img_4515Finally, we cannot forget the “Reason for the Season” and why we celebrate. Our Christian faith is very important to us. And it is based on Jesus coming as a baby, living among men, dying and rising again- all for the love of the human race. So, we are sure to spend moments pondering this throughout the month, leading to Christmas. On the morning of Christmas we read the verses from scripture that lay out what transpired that day, before we have our gifts.

“And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call His name Jesus: for He shall save His people from their sins.” Matthew 1: 21

These are what I think of, as Christmas and the holiday season. What about you?

The Daily Post: Photo Challenge

3 Comments

Filed under Family, Uncategorized

Grateful World

grateful

“On Thursday it will be Thanksgiving in the USA and I thought we could do a grateful list for this week.  Most of these questions can be answered with just a couple of words, just put down the first thing that comes to mind.  Yes, I know you writers will never use just one or two words to respond to any question.” –Cee’s Share Your World

If you would like to get in on the fun, feel free to cut and paste this post and answer the questions too. Just make sure you let me know so that I can read what you are grateful for too. -Michelle

What are you grateful for in regard to:

  1. Your home life?  Being able to homeschool my children. I don’t take for granted that I am able to be home to do this.
  2. Your family? A husband who meets our needs by working hard while giving us love and support. Also two very special teenagers.
  3. Your blogging community? Meeting new people from all over the world that I’d never have an opportunity to otherwise. Inspirational and beautiful people, no less!
  4. Your city or immediate area in which you live? Being able to enjoy the beach regularly.
  5. The regional area in which you live? Living in a warm climate after spending my first 35 years of life in the north. It is such a blessing. 
  6. The country where you live? Freedoms that we enjoy daily and may even take for granted.
  7. You? I’m thankful for the creativity that the Lord has given me- through writing and my art.

Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

My needs continue to be met daily and goals accomplished. I look forward to spending Thanksgiving with my family and the kids being off school, so we can have some free time.

9f5e29da4417ad673cb3e4f2a39cd5bc

 

22 Comments

Filed under Family, Uncategorized

When The Holidays Hurt

The holidays are upon us. Here in the US, we have Thanksgiving this coming Thursday. Then, on to December and many different holidays- from Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanzaa to the New Year. It is a time of celebrating, family and friends sharing in moments together and memories made. But, what about when the holidays hurt?

Flipping through my Facebook page and there it sits, “On this day” a memory photo. The sadness is overwhelming and the ache in my chest painful. A photo of someone no longer part of my life. A memory, and then another, until my mind is flooded with the past. Things my heart will not allow me to forget. Years of holiday photos, cherished memories with my kids and husband, but among them are also faces of those whom we left in another life or loved ones who’ve departed.

This is what happens around this time of year for me. But, not just me, for many who have suffered losses. Perhaps through someone’s passing away, or maybe a falling out that ended years of friendship, a relationship or family ties. I have spoken in detail over the “loss” our family had 3 years ago in “My Journey In Faith.” I’ve also mentioned the passing of one of my dearest friends, my Gram, here. The five-year anniversary of her death just this past week.

Seasons may pass and time will go by, but that won’t change a thing. I want to smile and have a laugh, to enjoy the carolers sing. I wrap a gift, put up the tree and enjoy some holiday cheer. But then I find, I need a space, to cry my unshed tears.©~MM

For those who find themselves in this place, it can be such a complicate road to navigate. Often faced with expectations from others for you to be elated with the joys of the season. It is a time for parties and presents, food and merriment! But grief and depression is a real part of the holidays too. One that is often overlooked by those who don’t want to, or don’t know how to, deal with [it], or perhaps aren’t even aware. Often a difficult subject to broach and one that some may avoid altogether. But, I want to meet it head-on because, it is such an important topic to me!

So, how do we process these emotions, this grief, during the holiday season? Or how can you respect and help those that are hurting? Pulling from some of my own experiences, I would like to share some perspective.

how-to-handle-grief-during-the-holidays-passare1

1. Everyone grieves and processes emotions differently.

How one person experiences a loss may not be equal to the person next to you. We are all human, but our brains do not all work the same. One person may grieve openly and with much emotion, while another does not seem to mourn at all. And, what you may believe to be an appropriate place and time to grieve, may not be shared as acceptable “behavior,” by those closest to you. The best thing we can do for ourselves or for one another is to respect the process, whatever that may look like. There is no right or wrong when it comes to mourning.

2. Length of time for grief differs for everyone.

There is not a time limit to the heartache of loss. Do not let anyone attempt to dictate the time it takes to overcome [it]. I believe as long as you are working through grief in a healthy manner, no one should tell you what overcoming loss should look like.

It has been five years since I lost my Gram, still the pain is present. Although I don’t always talk about her, there are times where I still grieve. This is the time of year that she was a very big part of. Most of my adult, married life, she and my grandpa would come over for Thanksgiving to our home. She taught me how to make my first apple pie and always held tips during the process of our Thanksgiving meal. Christmas time was no different. Many of the treats I bake are her recipes. When she got older and no longer felt like baking, I would bring her and Grandpa a tray of treats to share. Hours were spent at their table with coffee and sweets, such special memories for me. Christmas day we always went over to their house in the afternoon. And, although my kids, hubby and I can now reminisce at the memories with fondness, there will always be emotions tied to them.

3. Embrace the pain with the memories.

Now, it is on to thee embracing what I can not change and working to cherish the positive memories. Choosing to live in the present and control what I am able to. This has been a hard one for me. My other “loss” was a large group of individuals whom had been like family, for 14 years. Both of my children’s entire lives were knit together with their’s, up until three years ago. Photos are still difficult, I look back in albums, dozens of faces are mingled in with my family’s memories. Then, there are the holiday traditions that we were all part of together every year. I hope one day that I will be able to do some of those things again, without such sadness accompanying them.

grief

While grief is unpredictable and often hard to understand, as we head into the holidays, I hope you find solace in knowing that you are not alone. And, if you know someone who is hurting, maybe this will help you find perspective as they navigate the holidays.

Perhaps you have something to add, ask, share or recommend. Please feel free to leave a comment.

 

20 Comments

Filed under Depression, Family