Category Archives: humor

A Terrible Rhyme

Things that like to jiggle, well, I could only think of Jello

Or you could go with fat, but I hate to talk like that

There is also jelly or jam, oh, I skipped the Spam

Dancing Aunt Betty, but that really isn’t pretty

Then gummie bears, at the movie we’ll share

They stick in my tooth that’s just the truth

Can we drop this word? It is so absurd

Things that jiggle or like to wiggle

What gross verbs, both distrubs

WordPress prompts depress

Can I suggest “Zest”?

No? Then go!©

by Macjam

8 Comments

Filed under humor, poetry

This Complicated Thing Called Life

socsStream of Consciousness Saturday is: “how.”  Start your post with the word “How.” Bonus points if you end with it too.

How did life get so complicated? I would love to go back to a time when all I had to worry about was school grades, what to wear and what to eat for breakfast. Now, here I am married, with two teenagers of my own and the responcibility’s list goes on. I have a million thoughts running through my mind constantly. Yesterday, at one point, I literally could not focus on one thing at a time, and was running around like a mad woman. Well, some would say “mad woman,” while others would just say, mom. Is it any wonder though that I am losing my mind? Really, the pressures of life get higher as does my age! Sometimes I think that I would like to fane crazy just to get a holiday in a hospital (okay, maybe that’s taking it a bit too far, but I know some of you get me)!

 Now, I need to go get ready for work, which happens to be my respite from the complications, some how.  ~Mac

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Filed under Family, humor, Life Lessons

To Whomever Invented Glitter

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To: Whomever invented glitter, you suck! From: The moms that have had the duty of trying to clean that crap out of EVERYTHING!

Okay, who thought putting clitter on gift wrap of any kind was a good idea? I mean, have you ever found yourself glitter”ized” by the time you finished wrapping a gift? Running out of the house because you’re late to a birthday party; only to arrive looking like a stripper mom! Not cool man. Although, likely you are not the only one there, it’s actually like a stripper reunion. 

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Then you have those that believe crafting with glitter is an AMAZING idea! They enjoy sending your child home from a party or school with glittered “art”! WTH, that is NOT art! That is a glitter bomb waiting to explode all over my house! One that will permeate every orifice of living space and my child’s body. 

Finally, what is with the glitter in EVERY woman’s product? Nails, makeup, lotions, body sprays, let alone the clothing. Again, if I wanted to look like a slu… well you get my point! PLEASE, stop putting glitter on and in everything; if we were meant to poop glitter we would all be unicorns!© 

 

Signed, Mac

 

 

 

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Filed under humor

Face It

I miss being able to slam the phone down when hanging up on somebody. Let’s face it, violently pressing “end call” just doesn’t have the same effect!

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Phone Face© by Mac

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Things that look like faces

 

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Filed under humor, nature-photography

The Yuck Factor

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There are some words that just shouldn’t be said

The sound of them going through my head

Makes me want to get sick

And gives me a tick

Words like juicy, moist, crusty and gunk

These really put me in a nasty funk

My stomach ups and churns

In other words it turns

So talk to me of things that are full of class

Seriously do not to want to hear crass

This does not mean I’m a prude

I just mean don’t be rude

Some words just have this terrible yuck element

And I wish people would be more hesitant

To use them as adjectives or verbs

Oh how this greatly perturbs

So, please stay away from words like gooey 

Oh and also do not say the word dewey

Okay, when talking just be mindful

Use words that are delightful

by Mac

 

 

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Filed under humor, Uncategorized

Can’t Make This $#!t Up

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The first time I saw the commercial for this product, I seriously thought I had just turned on Saturday Night Live! No, this could not be a real thing! People would not be spending butt loads of money (pun intended) for a stool (pun unintended)!

But, I was mistaken, for there, on the television was an ice cream pooping unicorn! Yes, this was a sales pitch for the Squatty Potty. I mean how else could you possibly talk about a product used to help someone have an easier time going number two? Of course, unicorns and ice cream, this makes perfect sense! And a stool none the less, you can’t make this $#!t up! 

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I am a huge advocate of potty talk. Personally, nothing makes me giggle more than an inappropriate conversation about bodily functions! Yes, with two teenagers, I can let ’em… well never mind. So, needless to say, with this knowledge, you can imagine my pure delight! Actually, I was probably more like an eight year old boy that likes to say the word fart way too much! But hey, what can I say, ice cream otherwise known as unicorn crap, makes me happy!

So long live the Squatty Potty!  And be sure to catch the MUST SEE commercial video HERE, for Squatty Potty! 

**You may blame this one on the Word Press Daily Prompt: Squat** Mac©

 

 

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Filed under humor, Uncategorized

Writer’s Block

I wanted to write something, but I came up with squat, nadda, bubkiss, zip, zero, zilch and finally the big goose egg! ~Mac

Writer’s Block articles that are fun.

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Filed under humor