Category Archives: Life Lessons

Lost And Not Found

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Lost myself, cannot be found
Looked and looked all around
But to no avail I couldn’t find
Where it was I put my mind

How’d I realize I was gone?
The sunrise one early dawn
Beauty of the morning’s sun
No longer felt emotions come

Couldn’t be moved anymore
As I stood on thee ocean shore
The salty air or waves of gold
Yet all I am is bitter and cold

I touch where heart should be
It is a mystery how it did flee
Also found my spirit was MIA
Not certain how I got this way

Was it my choice? Had I known?
That I would leave me all alone
To face this cruel uncaring place
Not one emotion left on this face

So, I put an add out in the paper
“A missing person, it is a caper”
But just received one sad reply
“Sorry I forgot to say goodbye!”©

by Mac

 

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Down, Down, Down

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The rain falls onto my window pane 
Painting pretty pictures in lines and droplets
See it fall and swirl around the drain
Then capturing a green leaf that is in its path

I imagine a voyage upon this leaf
As the water, it pulls me down, down, down
Where will I end up or how brief?
It doesn’t matter, as I feel the water take me

Close my eyes as I feel it drift away
Unaware of the danger that’s lurking ahead
All I know, I want to get away today
I will deal with the reality of life tomorrow©

by Mac

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My Message

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Put my emotions in a bottle and set them free at sea

They washed onto the shore and you found them for me

You released me from my burden, handled with so much care

But realized it wasn’t healthy to keep my feeling locked up in there

Assured me that it was safe, a place that I was free to let my emotions go

Filled with apprehension, yet a freeing sence indeed, as I saw my feelings flow©

by Mac

 

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No Longer A Whole #2

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No Longer A Whole #1

Two halves of me don’t total one

I know longer have a sum

Tallied parts, I’m still not whole

Lost and have no control

Look each day but don’t equal

To check again is needful

Hope somewhere along the way

That I will add up one day©

by Mac

 

 

 

 

 

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No Longer A Whole

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There’s a big hole in my heart, a piece that is gone
Didn’t realize it was missing, don’t know how long
I found it one day, it was on the floor broke in two
Saw a name on this piece, it was signed out to you

I gave you this part, you forgot that you loaned it
Tattered, bruised…Did you realize you owned it?
Drowned out my cries, forsaken and so hopeless
Lost to the sadness and will never feel wholeness

Light is fading from my eyes, see they are muted
Emotion is not here anymore, I have been looted
Coldness has crept in, and like a thief it is taking
And is just leaving behind a deep, painful aching

Searching for comfort, something to fill the void
Not sure I’ll find it, before my heart is destroyed
So I wander this life, not sure what I will look for
But I am so certain, don’t want to hurt any more©

by Mac

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Skin Deep

What kind of word is nattyWordPress? Argh!! 

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I used a thesaurus and found out it means some such thing about looks. Do tell me UK friends, is this word your doing? I suppose if I was dapper, dashing or dainty it would be a great adverb. But I quite hate it altogether! Change one letter and you spell nasty and that is all I can think of. Blah! 

So in an effort to go on with writing for this word of the day- here’s a go at it!

There once was a man so dapper, but he was only a good napper
And a maiden of considerable looks, but she only could read books
But life isn’t all about fashions, you should also follow your passions
So if you are tempted to be vain, remember it’s okay to be plain©

 

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Living Is A Choice~Birthday Reflections

Birth is not a choice we get to make, we are brought into this world 
Some simply come into this life to exist only for the sake of existing
Others will choose to make this world a better place, living it in full
How we embrace our course is up to us, no one can decide but you
Will you elect to be a person who conquers the world each day here?
Touching the lives of those you come into contact with, uplifting them
Bring light to the dark, laughter to the sad, love to the broken-hearted
Looking at the world, see the good and the beautiful, embracing it all
Birth is not a choice we get to make, but choosing to live is one we make daily!

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Today is my birthday, and as I reflect on life and how many ups and downs that it brings. One thing that I have come to realize is that every day is a choice. Will I choose to get up and live life, making the best of every circumstance that I face? Life throws many things at us, it is how we react to them that can make or break us. So as I go into another year of life, I will again choose to keep living. It is a conscious decision, one that is not always the easier path. In fact, really never easier. But, I know that through this life, I will have an impact and I will make a difference. These are things that I strive for, I hope to obtain. What will you do with the life you have been given? I hope that you will shine on! ©

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You Anchor Me

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Anchor Me© by Mac

I was adrift and had been lost at sea
Then you came along and rescued me
Winds were blowing and sails were torn
To be honest, I had given up and was worn
You threw me a rope and brought me to shore
Assured me waves could not harm me anymore
I had a tattered life, was just a broken, ugly vessel
Giving up, no longer with life did I wish to wrestle
But your love, like a lighthouse, showed the way
Leading me safely and guiding me into the bay
Wouldn’t let me give up, such a big supporter
Taught me to trust and how to drop anchor
Now I can sail and enjoy life on the ocean
All because of your amazing devotion©

by Mac

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, Life Lessons, nature-photography, poetry

Will Love Win?

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A blatant disregard for emotion, love and devotion
This is how you see me, and that all I want is to be free
Look into my eyes and know, I really have no desire to go
If being apart is your need, nothing left but to beg and plead
Holding on to all we have built, but I’m left with so much guilt
Times we’ve spent, the care you’ve shown, don’t want to be alone
But aparently it’s not enough, because life is cruel and world is tough
And if we aren’t in it through thick and thin, then the darkness will win
But hope is strong and I believe love can prevail, or perhaps it is to no avail
So, if we go our seperate ways, just know, you’ll be in my heart for all my days©

by Mac

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Speaking The Language

Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m even speaking the same language as the rest of the world. Have you ever felt this? When you are saying something and people look at you with blank eyes, like you are speaking your own made up words. I feel like I am often in this fog that is pulling me deeper into its clutches. At times amazes me that anything I do or say forms any sort of cohesion, let alone that I accomplish daily tasks.

Mental illness has wreaked havoc on our family this year. Although I am unable to share details at this time, I can tell you that it has been a very hard five months! With myself, as well as two teenagers (add puberty and hormones) whom all have one form or another of mental illness, and voila you have mayhem. And hubby, well, he is just trying to stear this crazy train!

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So, what do we do to get through this time in our lives? The best we can, I suppose. There is counseling and medicine, but also lots of listening and supporting. Learning coping skills and how to take care of mind, but also body. (Keep an eye out for a piece in the future on how we take care of our mind and body.) Some days we just chill (thank God for homeschool and flexibility) and other days we can only do our best to push through. Sometimes the sounding board for the kids and other times the warm embrace. There are nights when the four of us all sit on our queen size bed and just talk about how tough things are right now, other times no talking occurs and perhaps a tear or two is shed.

I never had to cope with my depression as a teenager. I didn’t begin my struggle until I was twenty. I cannot even imagine the difficulty of navigating an already stressful and confusing time of life, then adding depression and anxiety into the mix! But, I see the strength and determination that has taken root in my children’s lives. I believe in them and their abilities. And, at times I find myself thanking God for giving me depression, just so that I can be empathetic and understanding of my kids and the struggles they face. Ultimately, I know that we have got this!

May is Mental Illnes Month. If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here

My articles:
Life With Anxiety
Dear Agony-depression
Breaking Free
After The Storm

Your prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “language.”  #SoCS

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