Category Archives: poetry

I Want You To Know

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My Dear Philip, 

I knew you struggled, I wish I could’ve taken it away

I know you knew we all cared, but you just couldn’t stay

I believe you knew we are all strong enough that we can carry on

I want you to know it feels unbearable that you are really gone

I know I will look for your smile, miss your hugs and laughter

I know I am glad you are my son and will be forever after

I want to thank you for knowing we needed one last moment before away you flew

I want you to know, even though you already knew, I have so much love for you

by Mac (your mom)

The death of a child is not something I thought I would ever go through, yet here I am. Philip, my beloved son of 17 years, lost his battle with mental illness the day after his 17th birthday. How ugly this disease is! Experiencing it myself is one thing, but to see my own child ravaged by depression and to finally lose his life by his own hand, it is more than anyone, let alone a parent, should have to bear!

I will continue to advocate the need for more awareness for mental health sufferers and those that love them. You can help too, in two ways, both greatly appreciated!

Go Fund Me: Help With Expenses in Time of Loss

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention fundraiser

Philip Feb. 22, 2001-Feb. 23, 2018

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Filed under Depression, poetry

These Voices

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Don’t criticize me and my choices

I’m just so tired of all the voices

Inside my head they swirl, turn

For silence I constantly yearn

Still louder until I’ve drowned

These voices in my head pound

When finally I get in a word

They make me feel so absurd

Force me to question each move

Anxious for others to approve

But no matter which way I go

I am always faced with a blow

Self doubt, is my worst enemy

From [it] I need to flee

So into myself I’ll go, retreat

Maybe one day this won’t repeat

by Mac

 

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This Life

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Life has so much to teach me still, it bends me and tries to break my will
Takes me up just to drop me low, I never know which to way to go
Struggling daily just to cope, feeling like I have so little hope

However long I try to be free, depression always seems stronger than me
Ruining friendships I hold dear and the love I want to be so near
In the end I’ll likely be alone, for many things I must atone

I hate how vulnerable I feel with you and hate these damn emotions too
Always a wreck and I’m never in control, life is taking such a toll
From my mouth there’s no sound as I crumble to the ground

Don’t know how to live but cannot die, and you are the only reason why
I get so caught  up in my head- Wondering, am I better off as dead?
Yet every day that I’m with you, is so much better as us two©

by Mac

 

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, Life Lessons, poetry

You And Me

Overhead young romantic couple hugging.

Here in your arms, I am safe from what harms
Tasting your lips, my sweet nectar drips
Your touch on my skin, leaves me free within
As I feel you in me, you’re all I can see
Looked deep in your eyes, this love intensifies
Forever here it will be you and me©

by Mac

 

 

Daily Prompt

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Filed under inspiration, Love of..., poetry

Self-Destruct

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Pieces of me lay on the floor, cannot put myself back together again
I have torn the flesh from my own limbs and I am only bones now
The parts of me that once were beautiful are now ugly and decayed
I reek of death and loss as the Grim Reaper comes with his plow©

by Mac

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Filed under Depression, Life Lessons, poetry

What Did You Expect?

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What did you expect of me? You let me go and set me free
I wouldn’t fly or spread my wings? I wouldn’t do new things?
Like a dog that runs away, doesn’t heed when you say stay
Because a little child I’m not, doesn’t listen to you on the spot

So don’t ignore the change you see, I’m not who I use to be
I make new choices for myself, no one can put me on a shelf
Took control of who I am, and now I don’t give one damn
What do you expect of me? Well, no more, because I’m free©

by Mac
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Filed under inspiration, Life Lessons, poetry, Uncategorized

Just Another Love Song

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A simple gesture, a hand on mine, skin to skin
Touches me deeper than one could imagine
Never realized how foreign it could feel
Until you reached in and warmed me

Were the gods looking down on this moment?
Did they see my brokeness and yours too?
Two lost souls destined to be haunted?
No, our pasts do not taint us here!

So, can there be something so true?
As a second chance come along
If I am to believe this, and I do
Then this is where I belong
Here I ascend into you©

by Mac

 

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Nothing Remains

Magical bird takes flight.

Released my soul, I set it free, but it keeps coming back to me
I told it lies, called it names, but says it loves me all the same
So now I can’t feel a thing, but also no joy does anything bring
Emptied of all the bitter pain, but then nothing does remain©

by Mac

See another piece if you like this one: “Darkness Remains

 

 

 

The Daily Post

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry, Uncategorized

Only Ashes

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An ember was born and became a flame
It soon burnt out and only did remain
A piece of what once was my heart
Destroyed by this life, torn apart
The smoldering smell is putrid
But worst still is the hatred
Away with love it lashes
Now I am only ashes© 

by Mac

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Rainbows End

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Listen! Did you hear that sound? At first it was a whisper, then it was a pound.
Beating on the window, banging on the door. Did you hear it, as my tears pour?

I didn’t want to allow them to fall, but you encouraged me, “Let go of them all!”
Keeping in my feelings is not healthy for me, they need to fly away, go, be free

So I wrote them in this letter, released it to the sky, watch as it soars so very high
And one day, I hope you see, there’s a rainbow in my eyes which you gave to me©

by Mac

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