I Want A Treat

Woman eating chocolate cake

A cookie and a piece of cake
I want a treat, don’t want to bake
So I go to the grocery store
And down the isles I will explore
I need a snack, oh but what
Had my fill of candy, now in a rut
Not a chip not ice cream too
Like sweet and salty, but neither do
A donut looks like a keeper
Or maybe pizza, it is much cheesier
Too many choices to make
Suppose I will just go home to bake©

by Mac

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Filed under humor, poetry

Our Family’s Trans-formation

family-on-beach

“We are writing you all because there has been a bit of change going on in our family’s lives this past six months. It is easiest to write this down and have you all hear it directly and in the same manner, then to relay it individually. This is a difficult topic and will be hard for some of you to understand. It is okay, you do not have to understand or agree with it to give unconditional love and support. And you will likely have questions, but we appreciate your not bombarding us, as we too continue to process things. So now on to what has taken place…”

These are the beginning words to a letter that we just sent to our family this past week. I am sure that many of my readers have felt my struggles through this year in my writings. SO many changes have occurred in the last six months. But, as I share with you this biggest of all, I ask for you to follow these words I’ve written my family as well!

“At the end of last year, just after Christmas our youngest came to me. She had been greatly struggling, which was quite evident. After a good deal of prodding, she finally confided in me a great turmoil what could be called an identity crisis. She felt that she was supposed to be a boy. This was all in her words, nothing put in her mouth. Of course, this was a big shock, but not a surprise in some ways. Of course we give her our full support and reassurance at this time. While shedding our own tears and praying in private, we try to reconcile between us what has happened…”

Yes, my youngest (age 14) has come out as a transgender boy to us. And for a conservative, Christian family, this was certainly a blow. Now, before you begin to think the worst of us, I want you to know, we are accepting in every way. But, it has taken time to understand what support looks like. And overcoming a feeling of “loss” for my daughter, the one I had longed for, planned for and held future dreams for. Needing to accept that this life is not mine to fulfill, but must be his to find for himself.

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“In the weeks to follow he requests some major changes. Asking that we change all nouns in regards of her to “he” and her name to a male one he’d chosen. Also a boy’s haircut is done and a breast binder is asked for (he had already been wearing a majority of boy’s clothing, always the “Tom boy”)… As the months have passed we have been faced with some heart breaking moments as parents. Our son has seen some very dark moments, as have we. He finally confided that he has been struggling, alone, with these feelings since he was EIGHT! How our pain grew!…”

It has taken some time for the name change and “he” to be consistent, but he’s been patient with us. Also, I have always referred to only having one son, now that is not the case. But, if these were the worst things to overcome, it would be a piece of cake. Unfortunately it has been so much more than that. For him, having a body that he does not feel he should be in is heartbreaking to see. What should be a simple shower now has become a struggle with self acceptance! My hope is, as a family we learn how to come together to be what my son needs. Helping him through this difficult journey that his future holds.

“We have told him that we don’t feel that God makes mistakes, and he has never suggested otherwise. But, if God doesn’t make mistakes, we can only feel that there is a reason for this journey too…”

I will continue in the future with more about our story as a family and the life of transformation. But, for now, I leave you with this. I hope that this touches someone who is going through the same struggle and gives you a ray of hope that you are not alone. Support is so important for all involved. I hope you will reach out or pass this along to anyone you know or you personally, that are going through this life transformation.© by Mac

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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Filed under Beauty and Health, Depression, Family, inspiration

Awaken

wakeup_sunrise

I wake up with the sunshine on my face
A warm embrace
I wake up to fragrant flowers in the air
Joy every where
I wake up with love down in my heart
You do impart
I wake up to the sound of much laughter
Happily ever after©

By Mac

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Filed under inspiration, Love of..., poetry

Our Passion Burns

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Passion as a fire burns around my heart
Whenever you are near the embers start
Despair and pain wield swords to destroy
“I cannot get enough of you,” is their ploy
My mind is a blur, all I can think of is you
As I look into the future, all I see is us two

Do you feel the same my love, never apart
Passion like fire burns around your heart
Will you hold me close and fight for us too
Against all who try to destroy me and you
Happiness for today I hope we can defend
Our destiny entwined until the very end©

by Mac

 

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Filed under inspiration, Love of..., poetry

Face Of Darkness

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Shall I cower in the face of Darkness?
Let it take me by the hand into its bosom
Fall victim as the ones that have gone before
As it woos me like prey being drawn by the hunter
I am unable to be pulled back from its clutches anymore
They all say, “You must fight harder,” but my strength is gone
Darkness shall be my captor and I will be in perfect peace at last©

by Mac

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Is It All An Illusion?

images

Is happiness an illusion, just a pure delusion?
Cards in the hand of a master, going faster and faster
Playing tricks on the masses, as time passes
Disappearing into smoke, leaving the crowd to choke

Fooled again by the trickster, his hands move quicker
So again this joy from me is gone, yet I live on
Causing my heart to disappear, gone forever I do fear
Fool me once shame on me, will I ever be free?

He waves a wand, then everything is all gone
Leaving us in wonderment, as the final curtain is rent
Is happiness an illusion, just pure confusion?
Back to the start we begin, leaving me to wonder again©

If you enjoyed this piece, please also see World Is My Stage

 

 

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Down, Down, Down

Leaf-In-Water-Wallpaper-1024x640

The rain falls onto my window pane 
Painting pretty pictures in lines and droplets
See it fall and swirl around the drain
Then capturing a green leaf that is in its path

I imagine a voyage upon this leaf
As the water, it pulls me down, down, down
Where will I end up or how brief?
It doesn’t matter, as I feel the water take me

Close my eyes as I feel it drift away
Unaware of the danger that’s lurking ahead
All I know, I want to get away today
I will deal with the reality of life tomorrow©

by Mac

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Filed under inspiration, Life Lessons, poetry