Cobblestone Streets

I love visiting old towns with lots of brick buildings and cobblestone streets. Here is a view from one of my recent day trips to Downtown, Wilmington, NC. It’s an old harbor city with lots of history to it. Many of the structures are made of brick. I will have more to share in the future from my little excursion. I couldn’t decide if I like this photo better in color or black and white. What do you think?

In response to Cee’s Which Way Photo Challenge

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by Mac©

 

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by Mac©

Photographed with a Nikon D3400

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Filed under Architecture - Photography

Dear Agony

Agony: extreme and generally prolonged pain; intense physical or mental suffering (source)

Life has a way of battering, bruising and taking much from me. My gut has taken a beating. It actually feels like a few feet have taken turns kicking it in. Bedraggled and torn, that is me. My heart must look like a tattered and worn blanket at this point, full of holes; it surely has been used and abused by hard times and losses.

If you look at me you may see a smile on my face, it may even reach my dark, blue eyes. But, I’ve gotten good at hiding my pain and showing no fear. In fact, I have learned to swallow my tears and breathe through the agony. Just please, don’t let one more person ask how I’m doing, dear God!

Depression, anxiety or any other struggle that takes a toll on the mind, body and soul– well you may know exactly what I’m talking about! Or perhaps you have a loved one that suffers from mental illness. It can be nearly as hard, yet an inability to fully understand or help, this can leave you feeling helpless.

Empathy can truly be a breath of fresh air, finding a person that understands the path you’re on. Sympathy is also an amazing gift, but can feel like a slap in the face too. No one wants to feel like a basket-case that you pitty or are sorry for, especially during an already very low, difficult time. So, while you love and care for that person in your life, be sure that you work together to find ways that make them feel positive about your compassion for them.

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I have felt for years that depression was my journey to go alone. My husband could not fully understand this struggle, so it was not his to help me through. In taking this approach I pushed him away every time I was faced with a low. After all, it is my illness and my difficulty. But, after nearly 16 years of taking this attitude, I will tell you, it was to my detriment. Over time, I have injured our relationship in a myriad of ways, in “going it alone”!

I don’t know why I have felt the need to do [this]. My thought process, he couldn’t possibly understand all the thoughts and dark places that my mind goes. The ups and downs, anger and sadness, all that runs through my mind, perhaps within five minutes! But, I often haven’t even give him a chance to comprehend where I am or consider ways he may make my journey easier. No, he can’t remove this burden from me, but he can help to alleviate some of the weight and pain, and even brighten some of the darkness.

We have recently decided to come up with a plan to put in place for when I am completely consumed with my emotions; times where I get so dark and tend to push everyone away. These are the times when I actually need people the most, but tend to be in too deep a fog to know how to even help myself, let alone tell someone else how they can help. My mind can be so weak that it will go to places that it should not and would not otherwise, go. I feel like I am a different person, looking from the outside in, like an out-of-body experience, almost. I don’t even know the person looking back at me in the mirror sometimes. My poems Counterfeit Identity and I Feel Like A Monster are poignant in regards to these feelings. 

Create An Action Plan (6 Ways To Support A Spouse Living With Depression)
This is the most important tip I have to share about this topic. Sit down with your spouse on a good day — a day where they’re feeling happy and calm. Open up a dialogue to co-create an action plan for their low days. How do they want to approach those days? What would they like to experience on those days? And what would help them shift through those days? As the spouse of someone with depression, it’s easy to unconsciously become an enabler by giving into their behavior or letting them slump around the house for days on end because it’s harder to confront them. Don’t let that happen! Co-create an action plan to inspire them to get through those days so they can shift into a happier state of mind. For example, I told my husband that yoga always helps me feel better and even if I have zero desire to leave the house, a yoga class has the power to shift my energy. On my low days my husband will always suggest yoga, and that serves as a reminder of the beautiful action plan we co-created to help get me through those horrible days.

When in the right frame of mind, I and Hubby have come up with our “Action Plan.” These are things that are positive for me, help my mind focus away from the negative and can aide in bringing me out of my low (even if for only a short time).  The list includes things such as: foot massages, bubble baths, ice cream, music and journaling. These are things that I don’t do on a regular basis, but are treats that help me feel well. Most are done with the help of Hubby, because he needs to be involved. If I need my space, he is still there, but in a different capacity. Even these small changes have a big impact, not only on me and my depression, but on our relationship. I highly recommend an action plan! 

Now, I am looking to the future and trying to not deal with my agony all alone, because we are a team, and a team works together. One may have strengths where the other has weaknesses and vice-versa. That is how a team works; they are there for one another, cheering thee other on when they go up against an opponent. So, go team Mac! ©

**Find the song “Dear Agony” by Breaking Benjamin, my inspiration for this piece, HERE.

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Filed under Beauty and Health, Depression

The Color Of Love

“Always give away your pure love without expecting any love in return. The universe will fill your heart with an abundance of love, joy and happiness again and again.”
~Debasish Mridha

I like to think I see love, in its purest form, as white. Clean, pure and unadulterated. No expectations, but doing for another selflessly. Relationships, after all, are growing things. Being able to bloom and flourish takes nurturing. Giving love in this way is fulfilling and beautiful. And, when giving of one’s self is done purely for the sake of another’s needs, truly they reap what they do not even imagine is possible. So, be purely selfless with your love!© In Responce to~Tuesday Photo Challenge: The Color Of Love

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by Mac©

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by Mac©

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Filed under Love of..., nature-photography

Face It

I miss being able to slam the phone down when hanging up on somebody. Let’s face it, violently pressing “end call” just doesn’t have the same effect!

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Phone Face© by Mac

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Things that look like faces

 

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Filed under humor, nature-photography

Reality’s Dream

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Floating through the vibrant sky

Watching birds flying by

Clouds above and clouds below

No idea where I will go

Don’t know much about such dreams

Reality’s altered so it seems

Saw a boat pass me without a crew

Alone it rowed as it flew

Then fishes blowing lots of bubbles

A moment I forgot my troubles

Surfer dude with a great big board

Told of places he’d explored

Still on I floated without much care

Wishing only you were there

Dolphins swam and talked with me

All about this great sky sea

A shooting star waltzed with the moon

On the sands of time at noon

Mr. Turtle brought me an umbrella drink

It was on his back, I really think

But not sure I trust my eyes much anymore

Just saw a shark walk on the shore

The crabs and lobsters, urchins and starfish

Told me I could have what I wish

No longer did I want to dream of this sea

Waking up I found I was still me

A mermaid in love with this vast blue ocean

Forever together with much devotion

To feel you gently caress my hair and skin

You push back as I move my fin

Yes, there is no place that I would rather be

Just a mermaid under the sea©

by Mac

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Love of..., poetry

The Yuck Factor

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There are some words that just shouldn’t be said

The sound of them going through my head

Makes me want to get sick

And gives me a tick

Words like juicy, moist, crusty and gunk

These really put me in a nasty funk

My stomach ups and churns

In other words it turns

So talk to me of things that are full of class

Seriously do not to want to hear crass

This does not mean I’m a prude

I just mean don’t be rude

Some words just have this terrible yuck element

And I wish people would be more hesitant

To use them as adjectives or verbs

Oh how this greatly perturbs

So, please stay away from words like gooey 

Oh and also do not say the word dewey

Okay, when talking just be mindful

Use words that are delightful

by Mac

 

 

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Filed under humor, Uncategorized

Can’t Make This $#!t Up

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The first time I saw the commercial for this product, I seriously thought I had just turned on Saturday Night Live! No, this could not be a real thing! People would not be spending butt loads of money (pun intended) for a stool (pun unintended)!

But, I was mistaken, for there, on the television was an ice cream pooping unicorn! Yes, this was a sales pitch for the Squatty Potty. I mean how else could you possibly talk about a product used to help someone have an easier time going number two? Of course, unicorns and ice cream, this makes perfect sense! And a stool none the less, you can’t make this $#!t up! 

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I am a huge advocate of potty talk. Personally, nothing makes me giggle more than an inappropriate conversation about bodily functions! Yes, with two teenagers, I can let ’em… well never mind. So, needless to say, with this knowledge, you can imagine my pure delight! Actually, I was probably more like an eight year old boy that likes to say the word fart way too much! But hey, what can I say, ice cream otherwise known as unicorn crap, makes me happy!

So long live the Squatty Potty!  And be sure to catch the MUST SEE commercial video HERE, for Squatty Potty! 

**You may blame this one on the Word Press Daily Prompt: Squat** Mac©

 

 

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Filed under humor, Uncategorized