“Look up, always. Look back, never.” ~Karen Quan
“When you look at a piece of delicately spun glass you think of two things: how beautiful it is and how easily it can be broken.” ~Tennessee Williams
I was contemplating what a good piece would be for today, and came up empty. Really, like feeling a bit dry, running on low. I feel the need to keep it real here. It is important and also encourages others who struggle, as I do, to do the same. My life and emotions are just zapping me these days. I have a bit going on in the personal baggage department. And, then of course the holidays and all those mixed feelings, as I shared here. Shorter, cooler days and less sun also aid in my depression and insomnia flare ups.
So what do you do when things just get too overwhelming? Or like myself you find you’re running on empty?
Well, I have found that blogging has been a great therapy for me. But, it’s not always a place I can freely flow with every thought. So, finding a creative outlet elsewhere has been key for me too, over the years. Drawing and music are valuable to me. I can sit for hours just putting pencil to paper and playing a collection of eclectic artists. I go from heavy medal and hard rock all the way to piano music. With my creative flow it takes on a personality of its own. I will figure out as I go, as the music moves me. Sometimes it’s interesting what comes out at the end, often quite based on my musical connections.(Be sure to see my drawing below.)
Last, I cannot express how much finding kindred souls has helped! Through blogging I have found many that connect with me on different levels of understanding and empathy. Those that touch base with me daily and extend words of kindness to me. Going perhaps on just a vibe from an emotional piece I’ve written. These I cannot treasure enough. It is salve to the soul to have these connections.
Empathy is a beautiful and refreshing quality, but can also be abused by others. As an empath, I find myself at times drained. The world likes to siphon strength from me, down to my heart and soul, until nothing but my shell remains. The arts, writing, music and blogging- these are the fuel that I must use to refill and empower myself. It does take time and effort, but I do know that this too shall pass.
Envy filled my soul, leaving me wanton and desolate
Never fulfilled and always wanting more and more
“Green with envy” seemed only to be superstition
But look into my eyes and you will see its impact
Self portrait, self loathing and self aware
Am I just an echo of my former self?
©Those Eye Though by SBDMB (MM)
Fallen from Heaven, Son of the night
Lonely without you, Please hold me tight
Feeling each breath, Lips touch my skin,
Starting a fire, Breathing me in
I burned like an ember, Then I’m tossed free
Now scorched and spent, Vigorously used me
I’m part of your habit, You can’t keep away
Again I will suffer, While you make me stay
Under your foot, Crushed by the pain
When you release me, I’m never the same
I’m toxic and ugly, Yet still you do taste
Why do you keep me? My body does waste
Our cycle continues, Singed by hot poker
I’m locked into love, By a chain smoker
~Words by Cigarette
©These Chains by SBDMB (MM)
“Why fit in, when you were born to stand out?” ~Dr Seuss
I finally did “it”! I finally went and got the tattoo that I have been working on creating for quite a few years. Something most people don’t know, well in the blogger’sphere’ is that I have tattoos. The idea is quite unusual to some, while others have embraced thee idea completely.
I was the first in my very conservative family to have one done. My first, just a couple of years ago, followed a year later by my second. Both, quite small and with meaning. As a woman in my mid 3o’s I am not one to just go about getting them done randomly, for looks alone. I have to have true meaning and much thought behind something that will remain with me for the rest of my life.Think of it as a piece of jewelry or clothing you have to look at forever.
So, this design has been in the works for years. It is representative of my Grandmother or as I alone called her “Gram.” She was my best friend. I lost her about five years ago after a lengthy battle with illness. I lived near to her my entire adulthood and she taught me much about life and lessons in my later years.
Gram was an avid collector of giraffes. At the time of her passing she easily had a few hundred. I still cannot see one without thinking of her, even tearing up at times. She also loved purple. She was adorned in a purple scarf even in death. I often bought her purple flowers, she especially loved carnations. But, in the spring we would also collect violets from her front yard.
So, in honor of my Gram these ideas were stirred. And, together with the tattoo artist we came up with this piece in her honor. I believe she would have loved [it] very much. I was SO pleased with how it turned out. This being my first more complicated and detailed tattoo, I was nervous. However, when I saw it, I couldn’t have been happier!
So, as the tattoo artist described it- Here is my “Wallpapered Giraffe Angel” for my Gram.