Yearned for distinction but forgot who I am
Changed for others and I repressed myself
Masqueraded as someone I knew I was not
Searched for happiness in the wrong place
Had desired to please everyone and failed
Becoming fractured, my mirror shattered
Shards that no longer will go back together
Reflections in a million pieces looked at me
Helpless I gathered them hoping for solace
Blood ran from hands and yet I felt nothing
There I stood torn and bloodied by choices
No longer could I see the person I’d become
The weight of this all rested on my shoulder
So removing my mask I felt freedom at last
It was then I knew the mirror was my prison
“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don’t want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It’s high time that I accept all the great things about me.” ~C. JoyBell C.
In my twenties I found it very easy to be drawn into critisism. I would criticize myself, lest anyone else had the chance to do it first. And God forbid if someone did give me a bit of their opinion, I may have fallen to pieces. In other words, I often lacked self-confidence to stand behind my choices. To own my actions and be myself without hesitation.
As I came into my thirties I also feel like I came to have more confidence in myself. Finished with all the drama and fed up with those that were not adding anything positive into my life. I grew by leaps and bounds, figuring out more and more of who I am as a person. Excepting that self-reflection is important and that other’s voices can be drowned out if necessary. And certainly, negative self-talk is unneccessary!
This is not to say that there are not positive aspects to scrutiny. But, as I’ve matured I have learned not to take it all to heart. As with many things, you learn to take the good with the bad. You learn who has your well-being in mind and who is looking to bring you down for their own uplifting. Finding people with wisdom and who you respect, these are the ones I listen to, because I know their intensions are pure.
My point, don’t look at critisism as a negative part of life. Instead, learn to use it to improve yourself and also to help you weed out those that are not aiding in your growth as a human being. It’s easy to hear praise, but it does nothing to help you better yourself. Many people will throw empty words at you, but few true friends will be honest with words not meant for anything but your betterment. Take those to heart, use them as fertalizer for your soul and grow.© Mac