Tag Archives: Dailywordprompt

Don’t Want To Play

 

These are lyrics to a song that I wrote a while back during a very dark time in my life. I was in a very self destructive place, stemming from a depression that was consuming me. Writing has been a very theraputic outlet for me and plays a major roll in aiding me when I feel myself falling. It is so important to find things that keep you grounded or bring you joy, even if they are momentary, during these times. May is Mental Illness Month. If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here.  

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Don’t Want To Play

by Mac

You tied my hands and you broke my will
Roughed me up, bleeding, you took your fill
Stole all my dignity, now I’ve none to spare
Then told me lies, said they wouldn’t care

Darkness please find another play ground
No more do I desire to be sought and found
Darkness please find another play ground
Last time we played I almost drowned

Next time you want to play your game
I hope I’m strong enough to say the same
But I get weak and tired from the run
Each time I’m fooled, think I already won

Darkness please find another play ground
No more do I desire to be sought and found
Darkness please find another play ground
Last time we played I almost drowned

I am the puppet and you hold the strings
Took my voice, which no good thing brings
Used my words towards others, now disdain
And to my heart, brought me much pain

Darkness please find another play ground
No more do I desire to be sought and found
Darkness please find another play ground
Last time we played I almost drowned©

 

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Where The Light Is

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As deep within water washes away my sins
Infusing of today with yesterday’s sorrows
Feel pain but there is so much nothingness
Why can’t I retreat into the darkness now?
Never looking back, just going into shadows
So many questions and so very few answers
As I inhale the fragrance of salty air and sun
I know it will be okay, at least in this moment
For where the light is, no darkness prevails©

by Mac

May is Mental Illness Month.
If you or someone you know battles mental illness,
there are many great resources here.  

Other articles:
Mental Illness May#1
Speaking The Language
Helping My Children
Life With Anxiety

Dear Agony
Breaking Free
After The Storm

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

To Self Be True

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I need a reprieve from life, as a mother and a wife
Things are tough and just so damn rough
Slow down, smell a rose or touch sand with my toes
Or see a sunset as tears make my face wet

Alas I am a mom and wife, for this indeed is my life
So I go on with my days, for them always
First to be as they need, while insides beg and pleed
Can such selfishness hold any happiness?

Along the way I decided to be all of me, undivided
Giving in to what I feel, helps me to heal
It’s okay to have these times, we need to sometimes
I found to be content, I will need to vent

If you’re a spouse or a parent, no need to feel errant
Don’t allow guilt when life makes you wilt
Connect with emotions each day as you find the way
The strength is in you, to yourself be true©

by Mac

 

 

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Filed under Family, inspiration, poetry

You Anchor Me

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Anchor Me© by Mac

I was adrift and had been lost at sea
Then you came along and rescued me
Winds were blowing and sails were torn
To be honest, I had given up and was worn
You threw me a rope and brought me to shore
Assured me waves could not harm me anymore
I had a tattered life, was just a broken, ugly vessel
Giving up, no longer with life did I wish to wrestle
But your love, like a lighthouse, showed the way
Leading me safely and guiding me into the bay
Wouldn’t let me give up, such a big supporter
Taught me to trust and how to drop anchor
Now I can sail and enjoy life on the ocean
All because of your amazing devotion©

by Mac

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, Life Lessons, nature-photography, poetry

Will Love Win?

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A blatant disregard for emotion, love and devotion
This is how you see me, and that all I want is to be free
Look into my eyes and know, I really have no desire to go
If being apart is your need, nothing left but to beg and plead
Holding on to all we have built, but I’m left with so much guilt
Times we’ve spent, the care you’ve shown, don’t want to be alone
But aparently it’s not enough, because life is cruel and world is tough
And if we aren’t in it through thick and thin, then the darkness will win
But hope is strong and I believe love can prevail, or perhaps it is to no avail
So, if we go our seperate ways, just know, you’ll be in my heart for all my days©

by Mac

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Filed under inspiration, Life Lessons, Love of..., poetry

World Is My Stage

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The world is my stage and life is my trick
A magician’s hat and a magic wand stick
The wave of my hand, blink of thee eyes
Then I appear in this perfect of disguise

Cannot see my true face or how I appear
Don’t want you to know what it is I fear
My life is a farce, nothing is as it seems
Nothing is perfect or existing in dreams

But curtain’s pulled back, I am exposed
Nightmare unleashed, everyone knows
Smoke, mirrors and sleight of hands too
But nothing covers what I am from you

I stand on the stage, acting out my feat
My audience observes, sees this deceit
Heckles and boos, tells me I’m a fraud
Reaffirming to me that I am so flawed

Cannot hide who I am or how I suffer
Depression is hard, know I’m tougher
Won’t play a part, I put down my cape
No chains keep me, I know I’ll escape

I call for volunteers, come to the stage
The first is patience to counteract rage
And second is humor, helps me to cope
Finally, love when I need to find hope©

by Mac

May is Mental Illness Month.
If you or someone you know battles mental illness,
there are many great resources here.  

Other articles:
Mental Illness May#1
Speaking The Language
Helping My Children
Life With Anxiety

Dear Agony
Breaking Free
After The Storm


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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Helping My Children

Helping our children through the struggles of depression has been the hardest task that we as parents have ever encountered. Not only have we broached the most difficult of times, we have faced thee unthinkable. I never knew the true meaning of the word “helpless” until this journey began.

Some things that we have been using to help counteract this illness have been counseling, with cognitive therapy, and yes, even medicine. (Medicine was not our first choice, but was necessary in the end, to battle the chemical imbalances.) We have also been using exercise, healthy eating, vitamins, probiotics and even yoga. Studies prove the body and digestive system are closely tied to the brain and chemicals there.

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It is also very important to have a “game plan” when the down times occur. Even I have talked about what I do here. It is really no different for my kids. We must have things in place that they can do to bring enjoyment into their days, if only for a moment. My oldest likes building electromagnets, weight lifting, crocheting and video games. My youngest prefers crafting, art and drawing, along with the outdoors and biking. This does not mean the struggles don’t still reek havoc, but these counter measures can and do help. Teaching coping skills is vital to surviving this disease!

The biggest commodity to me in this illness, however, has been my own personal experiences. I have said before, empathy is so much different from sympathy. Being able to connect with my two teens by understanding and relating, is priceless. We communicate frequently and they are usually quite open with me. Does it make things easier? Not always! But, it does help them to know they are not alone is this battle. And being able to knowledgeably advocate for them is a blessing.

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May is Mental Illness Month. If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here.  Also read my piece Speaking The Language which talks more about this journey with my family. 

Other articles:
Mental Illness May #1
Life With Anxiety
Dear Agony~depression
Breaking Free
After The Storm

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Filed under Depression, Family

It’s The Best

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The love of a child is the best feeling
Coming to mom when they need healing
With opened arms taking them in an embrace
Remember the day you first looked on their face
The need that they have, to know you’re their mom
All of the firsts, a roll and a crawl, a hand in your palm
With tears in your eyes or wiping away some of theirs too
But most of all, it’s the best, the first time they say “I love you”©

by Mac

Happy Mother’s Day to all of those who have the honor of being a mom!

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Filed under Family, inspiration, Love of..., poetry

Anymore

Am I lost to all sanity? I turn around and nothing is familiar anymore
I search in this sky of wonder and mystery yet still there’s nothing there
Where have all the pretty things gone? I feel lost, forgotten and in ruin
It’s all a maze of the obscure, curious and foreign, where the mind breaks
Puzzle pieces with no color, edges gone, nothing fits together anymore©

by Mac

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May is Mental Illnes Month. If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here. And this is a piece on my perspective, Mental Illness May #1

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Pink the Song

Pink, is one of my favorite singers. (Yes, she isn’t for everyone and does F bomb, so I warn you.) In honor of Mental Illness May, I’m going to share a song that has often helped me when I am down on myself, doubt my mind and who I am. I hope that you realize too, that you are perfect just the way you are. ~Mac

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“F***n’ Perfect”

Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that’s alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss No-Way-It’s-All-Good,
It didn’t slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look, I’m still around

Pretty, pretty, please, don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than f***ing perfect
Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing. You’re f***ing perfect to me

You’re so mean, when you talk
About yourself. You were wrong.
Change the voices, in your head
Make them like you instead.

So complicated,
Look how we all make it.
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough, I’ve done all I could think of
Chased down all my demons
I’ve seen you do the same
Oh, oh

Pretty, pretty, please, don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than f***ing perfect
Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing. You’re f***ing perfect to me

The whole world’s scared, so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice-cold beer
So cool in lying and we try, try, try but we try too hard
And it’s a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, ’cause they’re everywhere
They don’t like my jeans, they don’t get my hair
Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that, why do I do that, why do I do that?

Yeah! Oh!
Oh, pretty, pretty, pretty

Pretty, pretty, please, don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than f***ing perfect
Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing. You’re f***ing perfect to me
You’re perfect, you’re perfect
Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing. You’re f***ing perfect to me.

by Pink

Listen to song here

If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here. And this is a piece on my perspective, Mental Illness May #1

 

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Filed under Depression, inspiration