Tag Archives: Depression

Enemy At The Gate

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An enemy lurks and waits, pacing outside my gates
His battle plan is to destroy, but he offers up a ploy
Let’s sign a treaty, a pact, his objective is to distract
Call to battle, sound thee alarm, can’t allow to harm

To conquer this and succeed, strength’s what I need
Hold my ground, my sword, weakness I can’t afford
Who knows how long he’ll tarry, my great adversary
Blackness in his big hand, attempts to take my land

I must not give in but push back, courage can’t lack
If he was allowed to succeed, plundering with greed
Mind and body would be a loss, destined to be chaos
Depression is my opponent, must overcome, own it©

by Mac

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Imagine This

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When life gets too hard I go to my special place
I look deep within this imaginary space

Time has no meaning and we walk up-side-down
There are no mirrors and no one can frown

Tears come only from laughing and giggling too
And most of the time that is all that we do

Who are the “We” I refer to, you want to know? 
Well, this is only where the most special go

Often they’re found in the darkest, ugliest parts
But they have the most beautiful hearts

Using their minds they create amazing dreams
There is nothing more lovely, or so it seems

Once in a while this monster will try to get in
But we put up a fight, won’t let him win

He knocks on the doors and tears at our walls
Says unkind things, to the weakest he calls

He has lots of  names, his heart black with deceit
But the one I fear most, the one I can’t beat

This voice calls to me often, attempting to lure me
Depressions its name, not sure I’ll ever be free©

by Mac

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Don’t Want To Play

 

These are lyrics to a song that I wrote a while back during a very dark time in my life. I was in a very self destructive place, stemming from a depression that was consuming me. Writing has been a very theraputic outlet for me and plays a major roll in aiding me when I feel myself falling. It is so important to find things that keep you grounded or bring you joy, even if they are momentary, during these times. May is Mental Illness Month. If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here.  

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Don’t Want To Play

by Mac

You tied my hands and you broke my will
Roughed me up, bleeding, you took your fill
Stole all my dignity, now I’ve none to spare
Then told me lies, said they wouldn’t care

Darkness please find another play ground
No more do I desire to be sought and found
Darkness please find another play ground
Last time we played I almost drowned

Next time you want to play your game
I hope I’m strong enough to say the same
But I get weak and tired from the run
Each time I’m fooled, think I already won

Darkness please find another play ground
No more do I desire to be sought and found
Darkness please find another play ground
Last time we played I almost drowned

I am the puppet and you hold the strings
Took my voice, which no good thing brings
Used my words towards others, now disdain
And to my heart, brought me much pain

Darkness please find another play ground
No more do I desire to be sought and found
Darkness please find another play ground
Last time we played I almost drowned©

 

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Where The Light Is

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As deep within water washes away my sins
Infusing of today with yesterday’s sorrows
Feel pain but there is so much nothingness
Why can’t I retreat into the darkness now?
Never looking back, just going into shadows
So many questions and so very few answers
As I inhale the fragrance of salty air and sun
I know it will be okay, at least in this moment
For where the light is, no darkness prevails©

by Mac

May is Mental Illness Month.
If you or someone you know battles mental illness,
there are many great resources here.  

Other articles:
Mental Illness May#1
Speaking The Language
Helping My Children
Life With Anxiety

Dear Agony
Breaking Free
After The Storm

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

You Anchor Me

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Anchor Me© by Mac

I was adrift and had been lost at sea
Then you came along and rescued me
Winds were blowing and sails were torn
To be honest, I had given up and was worn
You threw me a rope and brought me to shore
Assured me waves could not harm me anymore
I had a tattered life, was just a broken, ugly vessel
Giving up, no longer with life did I wish to wrestle
But your love, like a lighthouse, showed the way
Leading me safely and guiding me into the bay
Wouldn’t let me give up, such a big supporter
Taught me to trust and how to drop anchor
Now I can sail and enjoy life on the ocean
All because of your amazing devotion©

by Mac

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Filed under Depression, inspiration, Life Lessons, nature-photography, poetry

World Is My Stage

black & white studio portrait of female magician

The world is my stage and life is my trick
A magician’s hat and a magic wand stick
The wave of my hand, blink of thee eyes
Then I appear in this perfect of disguise

Cannot see my true face or how I appear
Don’t want you to know what it is I fear
My life is a farce, nothing is as it seems
Nothing is perfect or existing in dreams

But curtain’s pulled back, I am exposed
Nightmare unleashed, everyone knows
Smoke, mirrors and sleight of hands too
But nothing covers what I am from you

I stand on the stage, acting out my feat
My audience observes, sees this deceit
Heckles and boos, tells me I’m a fraud
Reaffirming to me that I am so flawed

Cannot hide who I am or how I suffer
Depression is hard, know I’m tougher
Won’t play a part, I put down my cape
No chains keep me, I know I’ll escape

I call for volunteers, come to the stage
The first is patience to counteract rage
And second is humor, helps me to cope
Finally, love when I need to find hope©

by Mac

May is Mental Illness Month.
If you or someone you know battles mental illness,
there are many great resources here.  

Other articles:
Mental Illness May#1
Speaking The Language
Helping My Children
Life With Anxiety

Dear Agony
Breaking Free
After The Storm


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Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Helping My Children

Helping our children through the struggles of depression has been the hardest task that we as parents have ever encountered. Not only have we broached the most difficult of times, we have faced thee unthinkable. I never knew the true meaning of the word “helpless” until this journey began.

Some things that we have been using to help counteract this illness have been counseling, with cognitive therapy, and yes, even medicine. (Medicine was not our first choice, but was necessary in the end, to battle the chemical imbalances.) We have also been using exercise, healthy eating, vitamins, probiotics and even yoga. Studies prove the body and digestive system are closely tied to the brain and chemicals there.

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It is also very important to have a “game plan” when the down times occur. Even I have talked about what I do here. It is really no different for my kids. We must have things in place that they can do to bring enjoyment into their days, if only for a moment. My oldest likes building electromagnets, weight lifting, crocheting and video games. My youngest prefers crafting, art and drawing, along with the outdoors and biking. This does not mean the struggles don’t still reek havoc, but these counter measures can and do help. Teaching coping skills is vital to surviving this disease!

The biggest commodity to me in this illness, however, has been my own personal experiences. I have said before, empathy is so much different from sympathy. Being able to connect with my two teens by understanding and relating, is priceless. We communicate frequently and they are usually quite open with me. Does it make things easier? Not always! But, it does help them to know they are not alone is this battle. And being able to knowledgeably advocate for them is a blessing.

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May is Mental Illness Month. If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here.  Also read my piece Speaking The Language which talks more about this journey with my family. 

Other articles:
Mental Illness May #1
Life With Anxiety
Dear Agony~depression
Breaking Free
After The Storm

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Filed under Depression, Family