Tag Archives: Family

My Child

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Perhaps it’s because my oldest turned 16 this week or maybe because we have been dealing with many struggles this year already in my two teen’s lives. But, I have had my kids on my mind a lot this week. As many mom’s do, we worry and with that give- whether it’s time, emotions, energy or sleep! We are often pulled in so many directions, with little of anything left for ourselves. So, here’s to my children and all those mom’s out there that are doing what we do, thinking of our kids. Love, Mac 

To My Children

My child please see yourself the way I do

Perfect and pure and true

My child please feel compassion for others

With friends, walk as brothers

My child please taste of the fruit of your labor

Work hard and life savor

My child please take time to breathe it all in

Drown out the world’s din

My child please hear each of the words I say

I love you in every way©

by Mac

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Getting Real On Renewed

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I am just going to write from the heart today. Something that I have really been struggling with lately. I am full of many emotions, to be quite honest these days. I know I have shared before and I always am amazed at the out pour of support, so thanks. Things just really suck right now. Not because I have some terrible life, on the contrary I have so much to be thankful for. 

I mean, if one were to just look over my blog you would be able to see all the beauty and amazing qualities of life I have been given. I have a loving husband and two amazing teenagers. My oldest, he is learning to dote on me as his father has always done, and quite impressively really. Brings me to tears even! What 16-year-old boy remembers to record a TV special he knows his mom wanted to see, but forgot to schedule for herself? I mean, I mentioned it one time and he remember! Then didn’t even look for acknowledgement, wow! But I digress…

So, I need you to know, I am not complaining, not even close. I am just venting really. My soul is a sponge and my heart thinks it is a surgeon this leaves me torn by the emotions of ones I care about, interact with and really any bleeding heart I pass by…Of course some lost souls mean more than others. 

Like a skin rejuvenation, you scrub, you peal, some pain and then you shine. I am just in a bit of need of some heart, soul and spirit renewal. I don’t want to change who I am, that wouldn’t be good. But, I feel like I’ve also been siphoned from, I have been left with the dregs of emotions of people come and gone and I am tired. I am so worn down and spent. The case when you give and give, but more is given then received. Or maybe I just have holes in my bucket, I have always liked to do things the hard way. So, then the pain is last and I feel perhaps that is what I am in the throws of. I guess that means I’m soon to be out shiny and new. Hey and maybe I’ll look ten years younger too! ~MM

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Lacking

I have SO much to get done, to finish up before Christmas. I have done NONE of my wrapping yet, ugh! I have zero motivation, but with a relative visiting for the next five days and arriving tomorrow, I have got to get things done. So, please excuse my lack of enthusiasm and my high levels of procrastination. I am trying to just get through the holidays without losing my mind! ~Mac 

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Not So Merry And Bright

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I can hardly believe that Christmas is only a week from today! I have had a really hard time getting into the holiday spirit this year. I am just not quite feeling [it]. I’m sure a bit of this has to do with the fact that the holidays in general tend to hold a bit of depression for me. But this year my hubby said something that made sense. He told me that our “Honeymoon” period of our big move is passed. Last year we were still riding the high of having moved South. We hadn’t even been in SC for six months yet when Christmas came around.

This year I am just not feeling the desires of the celebration. I miss family and I may even miss the snow…for like five minutes. Don’t get me wrong, I love the beach and our new home. Cannot beat the lack of cold weather and even a few great friendships that have flourished. But, all these cannot compare to family and traditions that are no longer present for me.

Even the kids can feel this vibe, I’m certainly giving off. I must admit, I’ve been a bit moody! I watch Christmas movies (as is one of our traditions) with bated breath. Not because I’m thinking, “OH WOW” but “OH Gawd”! And I cannot listen to the Christmas music, it’s like nails on a chalk board! Aach, I am feeling like I’m losing my mind! I’m sure y’all have been picking up on this vibe of late too, I do apologize. I also appreciate those who’ve checked in with encouragement and support!

So, this week the kids have a couple of days of school then we are off for holidays. We will do a touch of baking, as is our tradition. Also, we do have hubby’s dad, my FIL, coming mid-week. The kids are excited for this; all I see is having to clean the house and attempting cheeriness. So, more work for me, yay! I just finished the family Christmas cards. I still have ALL my wrapping to do and shipping of long distance gifts. Whew, just seeing this all written out makes me want to climb under a rock until after the New Year. HELP, bring liquor NOW!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year my friends!  -Mac xx

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Some People…

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Some People…

Some people are just so exasperating
I mean they are frikin damn frustrating

I want to go and put them over my knee
Treat them how they behave, like three

Make them pay for the way they act
Tell them all of my mind, that’s a fact

Shake and slap them with all my might
And yell at them all through the night

Tell them that they are loved by me
But how maddening they can really be

And if by chance that they were to see
Truth is I’d hope that they’d believe me

When I say that life is already so rough
Being upset at you makes it more tough

Would they even believe a word I’ve said
Probably not until after they are all dead

I’ll grieve at the things that I have done
But will be too late and they will be gone

Some People© by SBDMB (MM)

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It’s Beginning To Look

img_4511As the saying goes, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!” And, over the years we have coined many phrases and customs that encompass this saying.

In our own family we have multiple traditions, from decorating the house and tree, to baking goodies. We enjoy the music and movies that accompany the holiday as well. We go out to see Christmas lights around the neighborhood and enjoy festivities. Meals and family, gifts and giving- so many special times around the season!

We are quite traditional in our likes in Christmas music. Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra are definitely on our play-list. As for movies, my kids have played a roll. Watching “The Grinch” with Jim Carry is our Christmas Eve tradition. But, personally, I enjoy “The Christmas Carol” with George C. Scott. It is laten with memories of watching it every year when I was younger. My dad always aiding in the voices and phrases that we all had memorized from years of viewing. Now Hubby and I do the same with our kids. And, last but certainly NOT least “Elf” with Will Ferrel. This is my ALL time favorite movie! I enjoy laughing most of all, so this is a movie I can watch over and over, and I know every line.

a5c4e6a4-ebb4-4f23-adeb-9b79d5846242Another tradition is baking. It is a favorite that I carry with me from my childhood. My mom was not one to work with us as kids in the kitchen that often. However, during the holidays she would let us help with the cookie baking. We each were allowed to choose one favorite recipe to do ourselves. So, as I had children of my own this was passed down to them. Since they were old enough to walk I would put them on a chair at the counter to help roll out cookie dough. Now at 13 and 15, they can nearly do it all on their own. And they still ask to do it every year! Made from scratch sugar cookies is treat of choice. Decorating has improved over the years and is my favorite part!

 

img_4515Finally, we cannot forget the “Reason for the Season” and why we celebrate. Our Christian faith is very important to us. And it is based on Jesus coming as a baby, living among men, dying and rising again- all for the love of the human race. So, we are sure to spend moments pondering this throughout the month, leading to Christmas. On the morning of Christmas we read the verses from scripture that lay out what transpired that day, before we have our gifts.

“And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call His name Jesus: for He shall save His people from their sins.” Matthew 1: 21

These are what I think of, as Christmas and the holiday season. What about you?

The Daily Post: Photo Challenge

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When The Holidays Hurt

The holidays are upon us. Here in the US, we have Thanksgiving this coming Thursday. Then, on to December and many different holidays- from Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanzaa to the New Year. It is a time of celebrating, family and friends sharing in moments together and memories made. But, what about when the holidays hurt?

Flipping through my Facebook page and there it sits, “On this day” a memory photo. The sadness is overwhelming and the ache in my chest painful. A photo of someone no longer part of my life. A memory, and then another, until my mind is flooded with the past. Things my heart will not allow me to forget. Years of holiday photos, cherished memories with my kids and husband, but among them are also faces of those whom we left in another life or loved ones who’ve departed.

This is what happens around this time of year for me. But, not just me, for many who have suffered losses. Perhaps through someone’s passing away, or maybe a falling out that ended years of friendship, a relationship or family ties. I have spoken in detail over the “loss” our family had 3 years ago in “My Journey In Faith.” I’ve also mentioned the passing of one of my dearest friends, my Gram, here. The five-year anniversary of her death just this past week.

Seasons may pass and time will go by, but that won’t change a thing. I want to smile and have a laugh, to enjoy the carolers sing. I wrap a gift, put up the tree and enjoy some holiday cheer. But then I find, I need a space, to cry my unshed tears.©~MM

For those who find themselves in this place, it can be such a complicate road to navigate. Often faced with expectations from others for you to be elated with the joys of the season. It is a time for parties and presents, food and merriment! But grief and depression is a real part of the holidays too. One that is often overlooked by those who don’t want to, or don’t know how to, deal with [it], or perhaps aren’t even aware. Often a difficult subject to broach and one that some may avoid altogether. But, I want to meet it head-on because, it is such an important topic to me!

So, how do we process these emotions, this grief, during the holiday season? Or how can you respect and help those that are hurting? Pulling from some of my own experiences, I would like to share some perspective.

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1. Everyone grieves and processes emotions differently.

How one person experiences a loss may not be equal to the person next to you. We are all human, but our brains do not all work the same. One person may grieve openly and with much emotion, while another does not seem to mourn at all. And, what you may believe to be an appropriate place and time to grieve, may not be shared as acceptable “behavior,” by those closest to you. The best thing we can do for ourselves or for one another is to respect the process, whatever that may look like. There is no right or wrong when it comes to mourning.

2. Length of time for grief differs for everyone.

There is not a time limit to the heartache of loss. Do not let anyone attempt to dictate the time it takes to overcome [it]. I believe as long as you are working through grief in a healthy manner, no one should tell you what overcoming loss should look like.

It has been five years since I lost my Gram, still the pain is present. Although I don’t always talk about her, there are times where I still grieve. This is the time of year that she was a very big part of. Most of my adult, married life, she and my grandpa would come over for Thanksgiving to our home. She taught me how to make my first apple pie and always held tips during the process of our Thanksgiving meal. Christmas time was no different. Many of the treats I bake are her recipes. When she got older and no longer felt like baking, I would bring her and Grandpa a tray of treats to share. Hours were spent at their table with coffee and sweets, such special memories for me. Christmas day we always went over to their house in the afternoon. And, although my kids, hubby and I can now reminisce at the memories with fondness, there will always be emotions tied to them.

3. Embrace the pain with the memories.

Now, it is on to thee embracing what I can not change and working to cherish the positive memories. Choosing to live in the present and control what I am able to. This has been a hard one for me. My other “loss” was a large group of individuals whom had been like family, for 14 years. Both of my children’s entire lives were knit together with their’s, up until three years ago. Photos are still difficult, I look back in albums, dozens of faces are mingled in with my family’s memories. Then, there are the holiday traditions that we were all part of together every year. I hope one day that I will be able to do some of those things again, without such sadness accompanying them.

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While grief is unpredictable and often hard to understand, as we head into the holidays, I hope you find solace in knowing that you are not alone. And, if you know someone who is hurting, maybe this will help you find perspective as they navigate the holidays.

Perhaps you have something to add, ask, share or recommend. Please feel free to leave a comment.

 

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Manners Have Left The Building

Going to the movies is a frequent occurrence for hubby and I, a great date we both equally enjoy. The last couple times we have gone however, I just about flipped my lid! Have people utterly lost all sence of movie theater etiquette? Really, where have the manners gone? And no, I’m not talking about those open-mouthed, popcorn crunchers! That is a topic for another day and my Misophonia. 

My first “encounter” was when we sat in front of a woman that talked through thee… entire… two hour, movie! Literally, she was like a comintator during a sports broadcast. Multiple times we “shooshed” her, but to no avail! I’m not sure she even realized she was talking or that it was she we were asking to be quiet. By the time we left I swear my eye was twitching and my anxiety was at maximum capacity.

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Then, this past weekend we visit again. A mom decides to bring her baby, mind you it is an adult movie. Now, I have been there moms, when you really want to see a movie and you believe that your baby will be quiet or even sleep. But this, was not one of those times! She let her kid cry, babble loudly and so forth without getting up and taking him out! Multiple folks were again, “shooshing” and she did not take a hint! What the heck!?

What is wrong with people? Have we become so self-involved that we don’t have any consideration for those around us anymore? It may seem like a silly or simple thing, but it goes to the bigger picture of behavior I’ve encountered in public. Yes, I’m irked, this is a huge pet peeve! I want adults to learn to respect and consider those around them. Not only that, I want them to teach their kids to do the same. I’m so tired of all the little jerks running around who are self-centered and entitled!

Whew… end rant!

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In The Kitchen

“There is no spectacle on earth more appealing than that of a beautiful woman in the act of cooking dinner for someone she loves.” ~Thomas Wolfe

I love this statement. But, honestly, I hate cooking! When I first got married, at the young age of 18, I had never had to take care of daily cooking. My mom really hadn’t prepared me. Thankfully, my hubby had a mom who taught all four of her boys how to cook as well as she did. Bless her, otherwise, we may have starved. I could burn a pot of instant rice…seriously!

Over the years my cooking has improved, substantially. Between early lessons from hubby and my wonderful mother-in-law, and lots of imput later from my Gram, I have come a long way. And while baking is my favorite, I just never have come to really love to cook. It’s not that I can’t, I have some pretty tasty recipes up my sleeve, I just don’t like to!

So, in walks hubby. He is quite amazing as a cook and doesn’t mind [it]. We have come up with an ebb and flow that works for us (unless we are both exausted, then thank goodness for take-out). I will come up with meal plans, we split the cooking and whomever doesn’t cook, cleans the kitchen. I do a lot of cleaning up the kitchen…and eating. 😉

The kids have also had cooking lessons from both of us, as I refuse to have them reliant on anyone to cook for them. They both have learned to enjoy cooking and baking immensly. I am often surprised by the talent. My daughter often will bake recipes from scratch that I didn’t do until into my adulthood, and with no help. It’s actually quite incredible!

What about you, do you like to cook or bake? What about a fave recipe? 

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©Plastic Cooking Spoons by SBDMB (MM)

 

Cee’s B&W Photo Challenge: Plastic

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October Transformations

“October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins. O autumn! O teakettle! O grace!” ~Rainbow Rowell

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One of the fun traditions that my daughter still enjoys is transforming pumpkins into Jack O’lanterns. We also are looking forward to transforming ourselves into costumed characters. Although she does not want to trick-or-treat this year, she wants to help hand out candy to all the neighborhood kids that will come through. I just look forward to left over candy or perhaps a few pieces snuck between visitors.

Along Halloween, with these we have some fall favorites. Pumpkin and apple treats are a must. Pumpkin pastries such as muffins, breads and cookies along with apple crisp, pie and cider. However, now that we are South we no longer can go apple picking or leaf peeping, as in the past. When my kids were real little we would rake leaves and they would jump in the piles. I don’t miss the big maple leaf messes though!

What are some of your Halloween and/or Fall traditions?

Daily Post Photo Challenge: transmography

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