Tag Archives: lifegoals

To Be or Not To Be, Sorry

“An apology might help, but you can change your life without one.” Robin Quivers

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This is a really hard and personal topic for me. I have felt the bitterness that comes with holding on to anger. I have lived through the sting of other’s unwillingness to forgive, a most devistating loss. And, I have had to learn that one can be sorry to the deepest depths of their soul and still never be forgiven. It is one of the greatest and hardest lessons in life to learn, to forgive another, even if the apology never comes. And, perhaps harder still, is to learn how you can forgive yourself!

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Life is full of so many lessons. And, just when you believe that you’ve learned everything [it] throws a wrench in the works. So, here I am years later with the battle scares to show, sometimes you really know very little! People will surprise you, turn on you and throw you away. Perhaps, Oscar Wilde said it best of all, “True friends stab you in the front.”

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As many times as I apologized, true forgiveness was witheld. Later the choice to walk away from a 14 year friendship was necessary, for self-preservation’s sake. And finally anger came, not crept, it came in stomping and smashing everything in its wake. This tragic loss of friendship taught me some of the greatest lessons in forgiveness, however. I wish I could say that I learned them in a dignified way, with class. No, this lesson was messy and unrefined! I had to battle my inner demons, truly learn what forgiving is all about and why choosing forgiveness is for you NOT them

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Forgiveness is not a one time thing. It is not a magic word you say or deed you do and poof its done. I have had, at times, to choose and purpose to forgive daily. There is certainly a process and it has taken time and lots and LOTS of energy. And really I am not here to tell you how to accomplish it. Everyone’s struggle is different and I do not believe it is the same steps that get everyone from point A to point B. I do believe however, you will be happier when you choose to let go and live.

“Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge.” Isaac Friedmann

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” Paul Boese

via: Daily Prompt apology

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Controversy Thy Name Is Media ~ How Drama Ignites The Masses

“The effect of the mass media is not to elicit belief but to maintain the apparatus of addiction.” -Christopher Lasch

media-frenzyI think you would have to be on a desert island somewhere to be ignorant to all the drama that is taking place in the world of politics at the moment. I am not going to get into playing sides, honestly that is not my point. However, I do not care for either candidate if I were to be honest. Politicians have never been the most honest or dependable people. No, my grievance is with the controversy and drama of the media and the frenzy that they create! The power which they weld and abuse. 

“The media’s the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that’s power. Because they control the minds of the masses.” -Malcolm X

The term media draws its name from the word medium, which means to transfer the information from one end to the other. The media has a profound responsibility to the public to keep us informed. It carries the weight of choosing between honesty, fairness, accuracy, and the possibility of destroying or creating human values. We must hold the media accountable as [it] holds great influential power on politics itself and social change. If the past shows us anything it is that the media has been successful in shaping the opinion of the public in many controversial political matters.

The-people-will-believeI believe the media of today has found that sensationalized news is a huge money-maker. In a day and age where we are surrounded by media outlets [it] is the voice in our heads. “In the past fifty years the media’s influence has grown exponentially with the advance of technology, first there was the telegraph, then the radio, the newspaper, magazines, television and now the internet (Voakes, 2004).” Shouldn’t they be holding those in political offices responsible for their actions? Shouldn’t they be thee eyes and ears for us, the individual? Yet, instead they have found that drama ignites society into more controversy which equals more “news.” It is a terrible, manipulative, unending cycle! Giving out facts and details to the public which are not true, or even worse, manufacturing them. I know, media is in the business of selling, but where do we draw the line? 

quotesI encourage you to draw your own conclusions. To think for yourself and be cautious of whom you draw your information and knowledge from. It is a dangerous world we live in. Not because there is any more debauchery then there was in the past, but because the mass media uses [it] to feed the frenzy of those circling in the waters, waiting to eat it up!

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/dramatic/”>Dramatic</a&gt;

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From Admire To Inspire

“It is impossible to escape the impression that people commonly use false standards of measurement — that they seek power, success and wealth for themselves and admire them in others, and that they underestimate what is of true value in life.” ― Sigmund Freud

I have never been one to throw around the word admiration, I feel in this day and age we have too many people that use [it] flippantly. Our society seems to get caught up in Hollywood characters and political heads, and don’t get me wrong, I do as well. But, when I hear someone say (in a tone of awe), “I admire…” in reference to this figure they don’t even know– Let’s just say I get a bit annoyed! In my opinion, they are all doing a good job admiring themselves, patting each other on the backs and throwing a myriad of awards  and ceremonies at one another. They say money can’t buy you happiness, but it sure can find you admiration.

eba43d888d2958d4c7540aafa87a64cbIn my life I believe I have only ever truly admired one person. Although many have made it to the runners-up position, one holds the place of honor. She knew me all my life and in adulthood became a dear friend. This person was my grandmother or Gram as I fondly donned her. An exceptional lady, full of spunk, wisdom and endless stories. If you were to ask me to tell you why I admire her, I’m not sure that I could truly put a finger on the reason. Like choosing a favorite dessert, picking a favorite moment, well there just isn’t one.

A few elements of my Gram. She was raised the middle child, the rose between two thorns. She grew up in Marblehead, MA, which is now quite prestigious (although she did not come from wealth). As an outlying Boston town, she visited Boston as a child, with fond memories of baseball games with her father. She traveled as a young woman to NY City and lived there for a time. She married my Gramps and together they traveled the world, as he had a career in the Air Force. Along their journeys she had three children, one of whom is my mom. Eventually, retiring from military life, they chose Vermont to return to.

“It’s not the beauty of a person you should admire. It is the purity of heart that deserves your admiration.” ― Karon Waddell

I had never lived near my grandparents as a child. However, they had played positive roles in my life as a constant presence. Early in my marriage, my husband and I moved to the same city as them. At that time my grandparents had been married for nearly 50 years, surely something to admire! The time that I was given to spend with Gram over the next 13 years was immeasurable in value. She taught me to cook, bake, sew, crochet and so much more. We had so many similar likes and dislikes, I could just talk with her for hours. And, oh the stories! Both my children were also blessed to have her as their “GG.”

During the end of her life I was blessed to spend time with her regularly. Many are certainly not given this gift. She was able to make sure my children, husband and I knew her love for us. She was able to inspire us in our life ahead. And keeping with her wittiness to the very end, reminded me- “Michelle, life is like a roll of toilette paper, the closer you get to thee end, the faster it goes!” I felt she always encouraged me to make good use of my time.

Although born years apart, we celebrated our birthdays only days apart. So, every year I am reminded of her on my birthday and the gift of 30+ years I was given with this wonderfully inspiring woman. Her love for her family was insurmountable, she was truly devoted. She and Gramps celebrated their 60th anniversary two months before she died! Even this five years later I still grieve her. She was full of life, love and greatness! She was not perfect, but she overcame many things in life. I miss her, but I am inspired by her and the journey that was her life.

“How wonderful it would be to meet an angel, I mused, but then I immediately realised that I already had. Not an archangel like Saint Michael, but my human angel…” ― Patti Smith 

…My Gram

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<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/admire/”>Admire</a&gt;

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Thee Elusive Dream

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” ~Christopher Reeve

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When someone uses the word dream it often feels like an elusive object, perhaps a place or thing that is unreachable. I prefer to think of a dream as a seed– when planted in the soul, watered by trial and error and fertilized by devotion, [it] will sprout into an obtainable goal. Life is too short to live in the realm of dreams, only to forgo your ability to reach them in death. The word goal in my mind’s eye is to see a large target and as you aim, life is thee arrow with which you make your mark.

I never could imagine I would be where I am at this moment. Yes, I believe thee elusive dream had clouded my ability to see my goals, my target becoming a distant spot on the horizon of my life. I sat entombed by my depression, no way to see through the cloud that had become my reality. Self-talk full of negativity and doubt; weeds filled my soul, choking the fragile seedling planted there. I was of the belief, “Dream big or go home” leaving no room for trial and error or small victories.

“Like success, failure is many things to many people. With positive mental attitude, failure is a learning experience, a rung on the ladder, and a plateau at which to get your thoughts in order to prepare to try again.” ~W. Clement Stone

When one hits rock bottom it is rarely a feeling that we share. There are no jovial sounds or triumphant claps to deem this moment a success. If I could describe the feeling in one word it would be defeat. If you consider war, thee enemy overtakes you, then defeat and finally becoming a prisoner. Prison for me was my mind and my body the cell. If there was an escape my own body hid it from me! Often it was as though my body were a double agent suddenly choosing sides, sabotage at times a daily occurrence. It is terrible, this belief that even your own body is against you.

Years later I emerged triumphant after lengthy battles. My mind and body at times still like to quip, but my goals have strength in the deep roots of my soul. I have long since matured out of the phase of dreams. Now, does this mean I don’t dream? Certainly I dream! However, one must know that difference between only dreaming or making dreams into goals and goals into realities. Living a life where you never obtain that elusive dream, well… I don’t want to live there! 

“All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.” ~T.E. Lawrence

Also see: Dare To Risk It

 

Word Prompt:Thee Elusive Dream

 

 

 

 

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