Tag Archives: marriage

We Go Together

We go together like PB and J
We go together just this way

We go together like one and two
We go together just me and you

We go together like sand and seas
We go together a pod with two peas

We go together like here and there
We go together like a matchless pair

We go together like coffee and cream
We go together like love in a dream

We go together like a perfect rhyme
And we’ll go together for a lifetime

Because…
I am yours and you are mine©

by Mac

DP Weekly Photo Challenge: A Good Match

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by Mac ©

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by Mac ©

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by Mac ©

 

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Filed under Love of..., nature-photography, poetry

Dear Agony

Agony: extreme and generally prolonged pain; intense physical or mental suffering (source)

Life has a way of battering, bruising and taking much from me. My gut has taken a beating. It actually feels like a few feet have taken turns kicking it in. Bedraggled and torn, that is me. My heart must look like a tattered and worn blanket at this point, full of holes; it surely has been used and abused by hard times and losses.

If you look at me you may see a smile on my face, it may even reach my dark, blue eyes. But, I’ve gotten good at hiding my pain and showing no fear. In fact, I have learned to swallow my tears and breathe through the agony. Just please, don’t let one more person ask how I’m doing, dear God!

Depression, anxiety or any other struggle that takes a toll on the mind, body and soul– well you may know exactly what I’m talking about! Or perhaps you have a loved one that suffers from mental illness. It can be nearly as hard, yet an inability to fully understand or help, this can leave you feeling helpless.

Empathy can truly be a breath of fresh air, finding a person that understands the path you’re on. Sympathy is also an amazing gift, but can feel like a slap in the face too. No one wants to feel like a basket-case that you pitty or are sorry for, especially during an already very low, difficult time. So, while you love and care for that person in your life, be sure that you work together to find ways that make them feel positive about your compassion for them.

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I have felt for years that depression was my journey to go alone. My husband could not fully understand this struggle, so it was not his to help me through. In taking this approach I pushed him away every time I was faced with a low. After all, it is my illness and my difficulty. But, after nearly 16 years of taking this attitude, I will tell you, it was to my detriment. Over time, I have injured our relationship in a myriad of ways, in “going it alone”!

I don’t know why I have felt the need to do [this]. My thought process, he couldn’t possibly understand all the thoughts and dark places that my mind goes. The ups and downs, anger and sadness, all that runs through my mind, perhaps within five minutes! But, I often haven’t even give him a chance to comprehend where I am or consider ways he may make my journey easier. No, he can’t remove this burden from me, but he can help to alleviate some of the weight and pain, and even brighten some of the darkness.

We have recently decided to come up with a plan to put in place for when I am completely consumed with my emotions; times where I get so dark and tend to push everyone away. These are the times when I actually need people the most, but tend to be in too deep a fog to know how to even help myself, let alone tell someone else how they can help. My mind can be so weak that it will go to places that it should not and would not otherwise, go. I feel like I am a different person, looking from the outside in, like an out-of-body experience, almost. I don’t even know the person looking back at me in the mirror sometimes. My poems Counterfeit Identity and I Feel Like A Monster are poignant in regards to these feelings. 

Create An Action Plan (6 Ways To Support A Spouse Living With Depression)
This is the most important tip I have to share about this topic. Sit down with your spouse on a good day — a day where they’re feeling happy and calm. Open up a dialogue to co-create an action plan for their low days. How do they want to approach those days? What would they like to experience on those days? And what would help them shift through those days? As the spouse of someone with depression, it’s easy to unconsciously become an enabler by giving into their behavior or letting them slump around the house for days on end because it’s harder to confront them. Don’t let that happen! Co-create an action plan to inspire them to get through those days so they can shift into a happier state of mind. For example, I told my husband that yoga always helps me feel better and even if I have zero desire to leave the house, a yoga class has the power to shift my energy. On my low days my husband will always suggest yoga, and that serves as a reminder of the beautiful action plan we co-created to help get me through those horrible days.

When in the right frame of mind, I and Hubby have come up with our “Action Plan.” These are things that are positive for me, help my mind focus away from the negative and can aide in bringing me out of my low (even if for only a short time).  The list includes things such as: foot massages, bubble baths, ice cream, music and journaling. These are things that I don’t do on a regular basis, but are treats that help me feel well. Most are done with the help of Hubby, because he needs to be involved. If I need my space, he is still there, but in a different capacity. Even these small changes have a big impact, not only on me and my depression, but on our relationship. I highly recommend an action plan! 

Now, I am looking to the future and trying to not deal with my agony all alone, because we are a team, and a team works together. One may have strengths where the other has weaknesses and vice-versa. That is how a team works; they are there for one another, cheering thee other on when they go up against an opponent. So, go team Mac! ©

**Find the song “Dear Agony” by Breaking Benjamin, my inspiration for this piece, HERE.

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Filed under Beauty and Health, Depression

Love Is…

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Be mine? Please be my Valentine

When all is said and done

I’ll be your only one

Love is more than words, it’s also verbs

Showing each other that you care

Through it all you’ll be there

Love is actions but it’s also passions

As we become one with desire

Intensities fanning the fire

Love is affection but with reflection

I promise you all my tomorrows

Even the ones with sorrows

Love is adoration and communication

Accepting each other with flaws

And speaking without pause

Love is giving all then more, encore

Because sacrifice may bring pain

But true love brings only gain

Be mine? Please be my Valentine

When all is said and done

You are my only one©

by Mac

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Filed under Love of..., Uncategorized

One Heart

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As I shudder, my heart’s aflutter
Love is intoxicating, heart palpitating
The joy it brings, all earth sings
Looking in your eyes, there’s my prize
See your soul, under my control
This great pleasure, it has no measure
Love’s worth, brings such mirth

With this vow of trust, virtue is a must
Breaking a heart, could tear apart
My greatest endeavor, your love forever
Guard our bond, charms abscond
Come in from the cold, have and to hold
From this day and more, as I swore
Together as one heart, never will we part©

by Mac

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Filed under Love of..., poetry

These Memories

To Paul

Memories run fondly through my head
Of the day when we were wed
Has it really been nearly nineteen years
That day, so many happy tears

And if I were to choose to go back in time
When you asked, “Please be mine”
I would say, “Yes” To this life once again
Knowing what I didn’t know then

The times we’ve grieved and times of pain
Are worth it all, won’t be in vain
For with each moment that we have cried
Still worth it all to be your bride

The laughs and giggles I’ve shared with you
When I think I won’t get through
Keep me grounded, help lessen the sorrows
Holding on for brighter tomorrows

Life is quite messy and often so complicated
But I still remember when we dated
Our two beautiful children are nearly grown
Can’t believe how the time has flown

Struggles have been many, but joys are more
As a mom and a dad they both adore
We walked through fires and danced in the rain
Held on to one another when in pain

Now as we journey into our future, hand in hand
Even if it is not how we had planned
Nothing is able to take these memories from me
Signed, Your Wife, Michelle, lovingly©

by Mac

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Our Wedding Day©

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Our Wedding Day©

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Filed under Family, Love of..., nature-photography

Overcomer

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Never knew how capable I was

I told the truth and undid

Everything I once held dear

Now life is just so unclear

I’ll hold up there is no doubt

I can’t give up on you or me

What was one is torn in two

Now so much I must renew

But I know we’ll overcome

This journey is an uphill race

Looking back and one day see

What was to be of you and me

Overcomer© by Mac

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Filed under Depression, Family, Life Lessons, Love of..., Uncategorized

Reality’s Choices

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A hope, a wish, a dream

But what is the reality?

To feel, to live, to beam

When will this be me?

Someday is just so far away

I must live with my decision

Heavy on my heart does weigh

It’s not always as you envision

I hope, I pray, I strive

But our reality is this

We must choose to thrive

Until our reality is bliss

Reality’s Choice© by Mac

 

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Filed under Depression, Life Lessons, Love of..., poetry