Tag Archives: MentallIllnessMay

Where The Light Is

57aa05f6b9893ab70eeb58cdbef35689

As deep within water washes away my sins
Infusing of today with yesterday’s sorrows
Feel pain but there is so much nothingness
Why can’t I retreat into the darkness now?
Never looking back, just going into shadows
So many questions and so very few answers
As I inhale the fragrance of salty air and sun
I know it will be okay, at least in this moment
For where the light is, no darkness prevails©

by Mac

May is Mental Illness Month.
If you or someone you know battles mental illness,
there are many great resources here.  

Other articles:
Mental Illness May#1
Speaking The Language
Helping My Children
Life With Anxiety

Dear Agony
Breaking Free
After The Storm

6 Comments

Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

World Is My Stage

black & white studio portrait of female magician

The world is my stage and life is my trick
A magician’s hat and a magic wand stick
The wave of my hand, blink of thee eyes
Then I appear in this perfect of disguise

Cannot see my true face or how I appear
Don’t want you to know what it is I fear
My life is a farce, nothing is as it seems
Nothing is perfect or existing in dreams

But curtain’s pulled back, I am exposed
Nightmare unleashed, everyone knows
Smoke, mirrors and sleight of hands too
But nothing covers what I am from you

I stand on the stage, acting out my feat
My audience observes, sees this deceit
Heckles and boos, tells me I’m a fraud
Reaffirming to me that I am so flawed

Cannot hide who I am or how I suffer
Depression is hard, know I’m tougher
Won’t play a part, I put down my cape
No chains keep me, I know I’ll escape

I call for volunteers, come to the stage
The first is patience to counteract rage
And second is humor, helps me to cope
Finally, love when I need to find hope©

by Mac

May is Mental Illness Month.
If you or someone you know battles mental illness,
there are many great resources here.  

Other articles:
Mental Illness May#1
Speaking The Language
Helping My Children
Life With Anxiety

Dear Agony
Breaking Free
After The Storm


9 Comments

Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Helping My Children

Helping our children through the struggles of depression has been the hardest task that we as parents have ever encountered. Not only have we broached the most difficult of times, we have faced thee unthinkable. I never knew the true meaning of the word “helpless” until this journey began.

Some things that we have been using to help counteract this illness have been counseling, with cognitive therapy, and yes, even medicine. (Medicine was not our first choice, but was necessary in the end, to battle the chemical imbalances.) We have also been using exercise, healthy eating, vitamins, probiotics and even yoga. Studies prove the body and digestive system are closely tied to the brain and chemicals there.

teski-vreminja

It is also very important to have a “game plan” when the down times occur. Even I have talked about what I do here. It is really no different for my kids. We must have things in place that they can do to bring enjoyment into their days, if only for a moment. My oldest likes building electromagnets, weight lifting, crocheting and video games. My youngest prefers crafting, art and drawing, along with the outdoors and biking. This does not mean the struggles don’t still reek havoc, but these counter measures can and do help. Teaching coping skills is vital to surviving this disease!

The biggest commodity to me in this illness, however, has been my own personal experiences. I have said before, empathy is so much different from sympathy. Being able to connect with my two teens by understanding and relating, is priceless. We communicate frequently and they are usually quite open with me. Does it make things easier? Not always! But, it does help them to know they are not alone is this battle. And being able to knowledgeably advocate for them is a blessing.

depression_quote

May is Mental Illness Month. If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here.  Also read my piece Speaking The Language which talks more about this journey with my family. 

Other articles:
Mental Illness May #1
Life With Anxiety
Dear Agony~depression
Breaking Free
After The Storm

7 Comments

Filed under Depression, Family

Speaking The Language

Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m even speaking the same language as the rest of the world. Have you ever felt this? When you are saying something and people look at you with blank eyes, like you are speaking your own made up words. I feel like I am often in this fog that is pulling me deeper into its clutches. At times amazes me that anything I do or say forms any sort of cohesion, let alone that I accomplish daily tasks.

Mental illness has wreaked havoc on our family this year. Although I am unable to share details at this time, I can tell you that it has been a very hard five months! With myself, as well as two teenagers (add puberty and hormones) whom all have one form or another of mental illness, and voila you have mayhem. And hubby, well, he is just trying to stear this crazy train!

3069H

So, what do we do to get through this time in our lives? The best we can, I suppose. There is counseling and medicine, but also lots of listening and supporting. Learning coping skills and how to take care of mind, but also body. (Keep an eye out for a piece in the future on how we take care of our mind and body.) Some days we just chill (thank God for homeschool and flexibility) and other days we can only do our best to push through. Sometimes the sounding board for the kids and other times the warm embrace. There are nights when the four of us all sit on our queen size bed and just talk about how tough things are right now, other times no talking occurs and perhaps a tear or two is shed.

I never had to cope with my depression as a teenager. I didn’t begin my struggle until I was twenty. I cannot even imagine the difficulty of navigating an already stressful and confusing time of life, then adding depression and anxiety into the mix! But, I see the strength and determination that has taken root in my children’s lives. I believe in them and their abilities. And, at times I find myself thanking God for giving me depression, just so that I can be empathetic and understanding of my kids and the struggles they face. Ultimately, I know that we have got this!

May is Mental Illnes Month. If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here

My articles:
Life With Anxiety
Dear Agony-depression
Breaking Free
After The Storm

Your prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “language.”  #SoCS

23 Comments

Filed under Depression, Family, Life Lessons

Anymore

Am I lost to all sanity? I turn around and nothing is familiar anymore
I search in this sky of wonder and mystery yet still there’s nothing there
Where have all the pretty things gone? I feel lost, forgotten and in ruin
It’s all a maze of the obscure, curious and foreign, where the mind breaks
Puzzle pieces with no color, edges gone, nothing fits together anymore©

by Mac

4763acb04b5957f064883e477a8aaf1d

May is Mental Illnes Month. If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here. And this is a piece on my perspective, Mental Illness May #1

9 Comments

Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

Pink the Song

Pink, is one of my favorite singers. (Yes, she isn’t for everyone and does F bomb, so I warn you.) In honor of Mental Illness May, I’m going to share a song that has often helped me when I am down on myself, doubt my mind and who I am. I hope that you realize too, that you are perfect just the way you are. ~Mac

pink_6090

“F***n’ Perfect”

Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that’s alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss No-Way-It’s-All-Good,
It didn’t slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look, I’m still around

Pretty, pretty, please, don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than f***ing perfect
Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing. You’re f***ing perfect to me

You’re so mean, when you talk
About yourself. You were wrong.
Change the voices, in your head
Make them like you instead.

So complicated,
Look how we all make it.
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough, I’ve done all I could think of
Chased down all my demons
I’ve seen you do the same
Oh, oh

Pretty, pretty, please, don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than f***ing perfect
Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing. You’re f***ing perfect to me

The whole world’s scared, so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice-cold beer
So cool in lying and we try, try, try but we try too hard
And it’s a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, ’cause they’re everywhere
They don’t like my jeans, they don’t get my hair
Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that, why do I do that, why do I do that?

Yeah! Oh!
Oh, pretty, pretty, pretty

Pretty, pretty, please, don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than f***ing perfect
Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing. You’re f***ing perfect to me
You’re perfect, you’re perfect
Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing. You’re f***ing perfect to me.

by Pink

Listen to song here

If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here. And this is a piece on my perspective, Mental Illness May #1

 

5 Comments

Filed under Depression, inspiration

Free From Me

IMG_8479

I cannot face this thing

The darkness is too much

And the pain is too great

This heart was not meant

To feel an ache like this

My throat closes up tight

How can I still breathe?

You have stollen my air

Ripped out my very soul

I am completely exposed

The elements sting my skin

Beaten down to the ground

There are no more tears left

A cliff is ahead but I am blind

Just set me free from all of me

by Mac

May is Mental Illness Awareness month.

Mental Illness May #1

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Beauty and Health, Depression