When I try to think of the last time I laughed to the point of tears
I would say it has not been for years
But, my oldest is a dark thinker and so his jokes can mirror that
Like the time that he spoke of a dead cat
Or when he talked about a dyslexic, insomniac and an agnostic
The punch lines are sometimes caustic
But when he giggles along with those people that he is telling
I see myself and my heart it is swelling
Growing up, I have always really enjoyed making others laugh
Hearing those giggles, even if it’s a gaffe
At my own expense it can be embarrassing, but is worth it too
When chuckling is done at me by you©
Filed under Family, humor
I need a reprieve from life, as a mother and a wife
Things are tough and just so damn rough
Slow down, smell a rose or touch sand with my toes
Or see a sunset as tears make my face wet
Alas I am a mom and wife, for this indeed is my life
So I go on with my days, for them always
First to be as they need, while insides beg and pleed
Can such selfishness hold any happiness?
Along the way I decided to be all of me, undivided
Giving in to what I feel, helps me to heal
It’s okay to have these times, we need to sometimes
I found to be content, I will need to vent
If you’re a spouse or a parent, no need to feel errant
Don’t allow guilt when life makes you wilt
Connect with emotions each day as you find the way
The strength is in you, to yourself be true©
Helping our children through the struggles of depression has been the hardest task that we as parents have ever encountered. Not only have we broached the most difficult of times, we have faced thee unthinkable. I never knew the true meaning of the word “helpless” until this journey began.
Some things that we have been using to help counteract this illness have been counseling, with cognitive therapy, and yes, even medicine. (Medicine was not our first choice, but was necessary in the end, to battle the chemical imbalances.) We have also been using exercise, healthy eating, vitamins, probiotics and even yoga. Studies prove the body and digestive system are closely tied to the brain and chemicals there.
It is also very important to have a “game plan” when the down times occur. Even I have talked about what I do here. It is really no different for my kids. We must have things in place that they can do to bring enjoyment into their days, if only for a moment. My oldest likes building electromagnets, weight lifting, crocheting and video games. My youngest prefers crafting, art and drawing, along with the outdoors and biking. This does not mean the struggles don’t still reek havoc, but these counter measures can and do help. Teaching coping skills is vital to surviving this disease!
The biggest commodity to me in this illness, however, has been my own personal experiences. I have said before, empathy is so much different from sympathy. Being able to connect with my two teens by understanding and relating, is priceless. We communicate frequently and they are usually quite open with me. Does it make things easier? Not always! But, it does help them to know they are not alone is this battle. And being able to knowledgeably advocate for them is a blessing.
May is Mental Illness Month. If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here. Also read my piece Speaking The Language which talks more about this journey with my family.
Mental Illness May #1
Life With Anxiety
After The Storm
The love of a child is the best feeling
Coming to mom when they need healing
With opened arms taking them in an embrace
Remember the day you first looked on their face
The need that they have, to know you’re their mom
All of the firsts, a roll and a crawl, a hand in your palm
With tears in your eyes or wiping away some of theirs too
But most of all, it’s the best, the first time they say “I love you”©
Happy Mother’s Day to all of those who have the honor of being a mom!
Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “how.” Start your post with the word “How.” Bonus points if you end with it too.
How did life get so complicated? I would love to go back to a time when all I had to worry about was school grades, what to wear and what to eat for breakfast. Now, here I am married, with two teenagers of my own and the responcibility’s list goes on. I have a million thoughts running through my mind constantly. Yesterday, at one point, I literally could not focus on one thing at a time, and was running around like a mad woman. Well, some would say “mad woman,” while others would just say, mom. Is it any wonder though that I am losing my mind? Really, the pressures of life get higher as does my age! Sometimes I think that I would like to fane crazy just to get a holiday in a hospital (okay, maybe that’s taking it a bit too far, but I know some of you get me)!
Now, I need to go get ready for work, which happens to be my respite from the complications, some how. ~Mac
Perhaps it’s because my oldest turned 16 this week or maybe because we have been dealing with many struggles this year already in my two teen’s lives. But, I have had my kids on my mind a lot this week. As many mom’s do, we worry and with that give- whether it’s time, emotions, energy or sleep! We are often pulled in so many directions, with little of anything left for ourselves. So, here’s to my children and all those mom’s out there that are doing what we do, thinking of our kids. Love, Mac
To My Children
My child please see yourself the way I do
Perfect and pure and true
My child please feel compassion for others
With friends, walk as brothers
My child please taste of the fruit of your labor
Work hard and life savor
My child please take time to breathe it all in
Drown out the world’s din
My child please hear each of the words I say
I love you in every way©
When life was hard you were there for me
This was your job and you knew how
As I have grown the rolls switched
Often I feel like the parent now
When did things change for us this way?
When did my advice start to matter?
How did I surpass the job of child?
How did you forget my needs?
My heart yearns for carefree moments
When life was much simpler for me
Only concerns were of my future
Naive to all the responsibilities
I’m not sure anything really readies you
The many changing rolls in adulthood
Looking into my own children’s eyes
Wondering how will they prepare
Will I become only an image of former self?
How will I impact the lives of my children?
Will the memories start to fade for me?
This life can just be so complicated©