Tag Archives: recovery

Don’t Want To Play

 

These are lyrics to a song that I wrote a while back during a very dark time in my life. I was in a very self destructive place, stemming from a depression that was consuming me. Writing has been a very theraputic outlet for me and plays a major roll in aiding me when I feel myself falling. It is so important to find things that keep you grounded or bring you joy, even if they are momentary, during these times. May is Mental Illness Month. If you or someone you know battles mental illness, there are many great resources here.  

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Don’t Want To Play

by Mac

You tied my hands and you broke my will
Roughed me up, bleeding, you took your fill
Stole all my dignity, now I’ve none to spare
Then told me lies, said they wouldn’t care

Darkness please find another play ground
No more do I desire to be sought and found
Darkness please find another play ground
Last time we played I almost drowned

Next time you want to play your game
I hope I’m strong enough to say the same
But I get weak and tired from the run
Each time I’m fooled, think I already won

Darkness please find another play ground
No more do I desire to be sought and found
Darkness please find another play ground
Last time we played I almost drowned

I am the puppet and you hold the strings
Took my voice, which no good thing brings
Used my words towards others, now disdain
And to my heart, brought me much pain

Darkness please find another play ground
No more do I desire to be sought and found
Darkness please find another play ground
Last time we played I almost drowned©

 

6 Comments

Filed under Depression, inspiration, poetry

This Bitter Beast

She is a devilish beast, full of crafty ways
Standing in the shadows, lurking
I feel myself locked within her evil gaze
Ignoring the place she comes from
And what she’d want to get from the likes of me
But I am rendered quite numb
Hopeful that she soon will just let me be free

Escape from her control seems to be in vain
My strength is running on empty
Taking me under her spell, again I feel the pain
Whispering in my ear, confessing
Reminding me of emotions I wanted to forego
Mind then taken over by obsessing
It’s what bitterness does when you won’t let go©

by Mac

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11 Comments

Filed under Life Lessons, Uncategorized

An Ode To Depression

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I let you in, under my skin

Keeping you all for all time, but became a mime

Inviting you to go, you said no

Then want you to stay, hope I can live this way

A bird in a cage, filled with rage

Damn depression you suck, with you I’m stuck

Confusing my reality, set me free

The cycle is just insane, but yet you’re my bane

I push you away, beg you to stay

I must except this reality, you’ll never let me be

Afraid what I’ll find, in my mind

The fog keeps me in denial, it makes me so vile

Continuing I cope, filled with hope

That one day I’ll be free, no longer a you and me©

by Mac

 

 

 

 

 

13 Comments

Filed under Depression, poetry