My Heart

My breath catches, my heart flutters

I can’t breathe, my brain utters…

”Go forward, find peace, move on!”

But I can’t, because you are gone

It is so final and I so incomplete

I am a shell, my heart can’t beat

I would curse God, but I know

In my heart, I know, you had to go

by Mac

 

Happiness Is

happiness is not found in one

happiness is not found in a thing

happiness is not what makes the world

happiness is not what makes me sing

happiness is only for the lucky few

happiness is only when I’m dreaming

happiness is such a fleeting memory

happiness is just for those living

daily I put on my mask of happiness

by Mac

Seclusion

When you lose a child you feel like you are in a bubble. No one else can understand what you are going through. Every day they are all you think about as everyone around you moves on with life. Screaming in this cylindric orb, no one can hear you. Deep sobs of agony and no one can hear you. And still you roll through life attempting to get out, let go…be free. -Mac

Pieces

The mirror shattered on the floor
Obscured her face I don’t know her anymore
Tries to find her way back and
Blood is dripping as she reaches out her hand
Attempted to pick up the pieces
But was cut so deep, so the shard she releases
As the pure crimson flows free
Again, she picks up a fragment, but it’s only me©

by Mac

No Longer A Whole #2

No Longer A Whole #1

Two halves of me don’t total one

I know longer have a sum

Tallied parts, I’m still not whole

Lost and have no control

Look each day but don’t equal

To check again is needful

Hope somewhere along the way

That I will add up one day©

by Mac

 

 

 

 

 

No Longer A Whole

There’s a big hole in my heart, a piece that is gone
Didn’t realize it was missing, don’t know how long
I found it one day, it was on the floor broke in two
Saw a name on this piece, it was signed out to you

I gave you this part, you forgot that you loaned it
Tattered, bruised…Did you realize you owned it?
Drowned out my cries, forsaken and so hopeless
Lost to the sadness and will never feel wholeness

Light is fading from my eyes, see they are muted
Emotion is not here anymore, I have been looted
Coldness has crept in, and like a thief it is taking
And is just leaving behind a deep, painful aching

Searching for comfort, something to fill the void
Not sure I’ll find it, before my heart is destroyed
So I wander this life, not sure what I will look for
But I am so certain, don’t want to hurt any more©

by Mac

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See Through Me

You see through me, for I cannot hide my heart away
Longing for a reprieve from feeling darkness someday

You know how black my soul is, you can see the hues
But yet how you can love this vessel, I’m so confused

How can I deserve one as you is such a great mystery
Our true love is the kind that goes in books of history

One day I hope that all the black from me fades away
Longing for a reprieve from feeling darkness someday©

by Mac

 

What Is The Answer?

Haunting my sleep always
Always I fear mourning loss
Loss that consumes all my soul
Soul that was once entwined in you
You can cure these symptoms of mine
Mine I hope that you will always be
Be in my heart til forever my love
Love’s what we must hold on to
To be or not to is the question
But what is the answer? ©

by Mac

After The Storm

Despair shouts my name
Telling me it wants to talk
But I know it’s just a game
Forever I feel it will stalk

I’m ravaged in the night
As it takes from my heart
It holds onto me so tight
Fearing it will never depart

But then as I dream of you
It chases all my terror away
Wakening I feel brand new
Seeing much clearer today

With all your might hold on
Please guide me each night
Bring me safe to the dawn
All my demons you’ll smite

You are the sun after it rains
A healing begins in my soul
Driving away so many pains
Finally I begin to feel whole

I’m faced with many choices
Yet things become very clear
Calming all of the loud voices
Because love conquers all fear©

by Mac

Rain Upon My Soul

My soul is thirsty but I have no more to give

The spring has all but dried up within me

My body decays as I long for this quenching

How am I to live in this state of utter need?

To thrive as everything around me withers

The living among this wasteland of the dead

Exposed to emotions of loss and utter pain

I pray for rain to come and relieve my soul

Tears that will wash away the dust and filth

Revealing new growth and revitalizing the old

Changing that which I was into what I will be

Newness of life and a soul once again full of joy

I must hope, I must believe, I must have faith

If the rain does not come I fear all will be lost©

by Mac