Tag Archives: sadness

An Ode To Depression

young-girl-on-a-walk-near-the-shore-at-sunset-2-picjumbo-com

I let you in, under my skin

Keeping you all for all time, but became a mime

Inviting you to go, you said no

Then want you to stay, hope I can live this way

A bird in a cage, filled with rage

Damn depression you suck, with you I’m stuck

Confusing my reality, set me free

The cycle is just insane, but yet you’re my bane

I push you away, beg you to stay

I must except this reality, you’ll never let me be

Afraid what I’ll find, in my mind

The fog keeps me in denial, it makes me so vile

Continuing I cope, filled with hope

That one day I’ll be free, no longer a you and me©

by Mac

 

 

 

 

 

13 Comments

Filed under Depression, poetry

Gone But Not

You are gone but not forgotten
Like a bad penny that keeps coming back
First you took and took from me
Now you just want to feel my heart crack

The journey through this life is hard
You would just ask for more than I can do
It’s not that I can’t handle the work
I just don’t want to give any more to you

You trick me with your little white lie
Tell me that you’ve left for good this time
But then with great triumphant zeal
Here you return and you, to make me mime

But I refuse to be your little puppet
Don’t want this life of mine lived on a string
You are gone for now and not missed
Depression, don’t want to be your play thing!

©Gone But Not by Mac (SBDMB)

dd3b17e4712f683c4de8838273a329b2

11 Comments

Filed under Depression, poetry

Hope Isn’t Lost

9

I look into your face, see the love that you clearly have for me
Passionate, full of caring, concern and need are it’s bedfellows
You wish to nurture me, hold me down, ravish me with desires
But I am lost to you and I cannot be recovered in this lifetime

Pillaged and empty, my insides have dried up into a wasteland
No longer able to feel your warmth or taste the kindness there
Blowing unencumbered, like tumbleweeds on the arid planes
Searching for a destination yet always I long to know freedom

You ask if there was a time that I truly cared for you my love
I can tell you that I recall it’s face when I look into the sunrise
And when I listen to the sound of music dancing on the wind
But my heart can no longer feel the affection of days gone by

Life has jaded me and I am worn down by cares of this world
If you were to look into my soul you would see only a vacancy
I have become a shell of the man you once knew and adored
The fire is fading from your blue eyes, as slowly I siphon hope

Keep the fires burning, don’t let hope fade, your beacon falter
Returning to you like a boomerang does to the thrower’s hand
Like the way that a musician returns to the stage for last cheers
Everything and nothing, all is possible and yet utterly impossible

Hope Holds© by SBD (MM)

2 Comments

Filed under Life Lessons, Love of..., Uncategorized

Not So Merry And Bright

woman-depressed-at-holiday-sheknowscom

I can hardly believe that Christmas is only a week from today! I have had a really hard time getting into the holiday spirit this year. I am just not quite feeling [it]. I’m sure a bit of this has to do with the fact that the holidays in general tend to hold a bit of depression for me. But this year my hubby said something that made sense. He told me that our “Honeymoon” period of our big move is passed. Last year we were still riding the high of having moved South. We hadn’t even been in SC for six months yet when Christmas came around.

This year I am just not feeling the desires of the celebration. I miss family and I may even miss the snow…for like five minutes. Don’t get me wrong, I love the beach and our new home. Cannot beat the lack of cold weather and even a few great friendships that have flourished. But, all these cannot compare to family and traditions that are no longer present for me.

Even the kids can feel this vibe, I’m certainly giving off. I must admit, I’ve been a bit moody! I watch Christmas movies (as is one of our traditions) with bated breath. Not because I’m thinking, “OH WOW” but “OH Gawd”! And I cannot listen to the Christmas music, it’s like nails on a chalk board! Aach, I am feeling like I’m losing my mind! I’m sure y’all have been picking up on this vibe of late too, I do apologize. I also appreciate those who’ve checked in with encouragement and support!

So, this week the kids have a couple of days of school then we are off for holidays. We will do a touch of baking, as is our tradition. Also, we do have hubby’s dad, my FIL, coming mid-week. The kids are excited for this; all I see is having to clean the house and attempting cheeriness. So, more work for me, yay! I just finished the family Christmas cards. I still have ALL my wrapping to do and shipping of long distance gifts. Whew, just seeing this all written out makes me want to climb under a rock until after the New Year. HELP, bring liquor NOW!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year my friends!  -Mac xx

21 Comments

Filed under Depression, Family

Love Lives Apart ~ Eclipsed

sun

We were meant to live as two
You with me and me with you

This world is such an ugly home
Beside me it’d be safe to roam

I would be so strong and brave
And you’d be there for me to save

If life was just to live apart
You would still be in my heart

When at last we could touch
I know I’d love you very much

From dusk til dawn my mind is free
To think of you right next to me

Separated by the oceans deep
And never to touch or to keep

I have eternity to love my only One
So on the Moon whispers to the Sun

We were meant to live as two
You with me and me with you

©Love Lives Apart by SBDMB (MM)

 

23 Comments

Filed under poetry